Saturday, December 31, 2011

I have been thinking about turning all of my blog posts into a book. Maybe, the girls' may want to look back on 2011, maybe they won't.

I don't want to forget the day-to-day. All of the interesting things that have happened this year- in our life. The Joy. The regrets. All of it. The daily tidbits- that in turn, make up our life.

So this was our 2011:
                        ( 2011: The year that Ashlynn graduated Kindergarten)
                          (2011: the year that miracles truly did happen)

                          (2011: the year that Mia Love turned ONE)






   (2011: the year I found and NYC and discovered that I truly love that place)

                                (2011: the year my diva Avery turned 4)

And, I couldn't leave this out: 2011 was the year that I decided to chase my dreams with nursing school. The year Daniel cheered me on.

I know that most people declare their New Year's resolutions on this day, or maybe before. I'm not going the masses this year. I  have decided to take a more kinder, gentler approach to the year 2012.  I'm only partaking in the deadlines that come from school work. No timelines for me. Lessening of the pressure of life itself. But, promises of the life attempted.

Promises to be me. Promises to just BE. Promises to be a good Mama to those three beautiful girls. Promises to not worry so much about the future, but to focus on the very moments before my eyes.

Promises to be good to my family.

Promises to be a better for friend. Promises to be the friends that are friends to me. Because, this year... I have been a terrible friend- receiving and not giving, like those girls, that I call friends.

And, finally... I have decide that I am going to trust in God's plan- no matter where that takes me.

So, in 2012, I plan to look forwards, and not backwards... knowing that it is completely out of my control. However, I plan to accept it as it comes.

These are the things that I promise to myself.

And I am incredibly thankful for 2011. Knowing that much of it was out of my control, and while it seemed so horrible at times- many times. I am thankful that I had it... to ground me... and to humble me.

So instead of the typical New Year's resolutions... I look forward to much progress.

I know that you are much interested in Daniel's progress. Here's an update. Daniel's laboratory values are continuing to improve. Which is better news around this house. His platelets on Wednesday were a whopping 76! The low end of the "normal" spectrum is 130. He is getting there. With a lowered dose of immunosuppressants comes other problems. He is now battling a BK Virus. It is a horrible virus involving the urinary system. You can google it if you choose. Anyway, things will be much better for him when this virus makes it's way through his system. We have been told that it could take a month or so. By now, we should be used to this. However, we aren't. He has not had to take any doses of insulin for a few weeks now. So, it is my assumption, that the diabetes is no longer present. He saw an eye specialist (the 2nd) one. This eye specialist treats many bone marrow transplant folks- and he is wonderful. Daniel is taking a new regimen of eye drops, and supplements to help with the GVHD in his eyes. It is the doctor's hopes that the chronic dry eyes will eventually resolve themselves with the proper treatment. He did mention to us that Daniel's case is not the absolute worst that he has seen. So for now... that is where we stand.

I wish each and everyone of you a splendid 2012! XO Kristin


Thursday, December 22, 2011

From Our House to Yours...

(Photograph by Sheena at Esprit Jolie Photography)
I am a little late on the Christmas train this year. I literally, just picked up my Christmas pictures on Tuesday. Addressed them, and off in the mail they went on Wednesday. Amongst that craziness, who was the silly girl that decided to cram 2 classes into Winter Break? ME! I am still contemplating dropping one of them and taking it in the Spring. I think that I am way over my head this time!

With everything that this year has brought...

I am trying...

And I am trying very hard to make sure my children view Christmas as it should be – a joyful celebration of Christ and the feeling of love of family and friends all around.

... To keep with traditions.

... To make it magical.

And I hope that you do to!

...To move forward and not let the tears fall. Because, lately, they fall at the drop of the hat. I am not sure why, but they do. Probably, because there isn't a day that goes by, that I am not reminded of Cancer.

...To be a role model to my children

...To be positive, because my children and husband deserve nothing less.

And neither do I.

(Photograph by Sheena at Esprit Jolie Photography)
So, from our family to yours, I wish you a very Merry Christmas. XOXO Kristin

Monday, December 12, 2011

Why Hello Winter Break


Browsing through my pictures,

Uploading them from my camera,

1,476 of them to be exact.

All from April until now,

4x6 reminders of everything that I am grateful for.

Easter, the circus, New York, summer, birthdays, cancer…

It’s in the pictures, the memories, that I am reminded of the many blessings that occur.

Understanding… that I count those blessings daily.

While on a very short break from all of the craziness of my school schedule, this is what I envision:

A house full of family. Friends… laughing at each other. Enjoying each and every moment of it

Chilling.

Printing 1, 476 pictures and then some…

An elf that gets moved nightly. I do not know how much longer my children will believe that the elf- “Peter”, hangs out in the tree, because that is where he gets his best view, and that he really likes it there.

My favorite new place in my house- the family room upstairs. That clearly, doesn’t get used enough, but will now.

Bags dropped at the door, shoes everywhere, a dumped diaper bag emptied in the floor… because there will be less worry about a “clean house”. More gathering, enjoying.

A kitchen table that will be gathered around. Prayed around.

My hope for this holiday season: to bond. To share. To love.

And, yes, I am truly blessed!

Here is a slight update on Daniel. We made the bi-weekly appointment to St. Louis, first with the lab, and then with the Nurse Practitioner. Things seem to be going great. Daniel’s platelet and hematocrit levels were still not rising in the direction that they should be, so Dr. DiPersio decided that lowering his immunosuppressant would possibly solve some these issues. Lab values indicated that the change in the mg was in fact, helping. However, with the lower immunosuppressant, he is at an increased risk of developing GVHD. With that being said, he has an increased dryness issue in his left eye. This is an issue that he has been dealing with since transplant and most likely is the GVHD. We are visiting with another eye specialist next Monday. If the physician cannot get this under better control, the immunosuppressant will have to be increased as well as the steroids. The steroids are a big contribution to the increased muscle deterioration that Daniel has had. He is very weak, but getting stronger each day. It seems that we will be taking quite a few steps backwards, should this occur. If all seems to check out good on Monday, Daniel will graduate to tri-weekly appointments.

Enjoy your week folks! XOXO Kristin