tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12127134853290156062024-03-12T18:18:38.669-07:00The Presley's... In This MomentA blog about life- ATTEMPTEDkristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.comBlogger77125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-72640220416183063772014-02-03T15:21:00.000-08:002014-02-03T15:21:12.920-08:00Technology...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi53YmBIm8fznWVTv0jv2cxR8fY0lbi3M81O4Ls_09OSCZ8oNWCFq3mSFDNBhTYMW3zIiJmiuXxy1dL47VOVboaYJQVfHlEG0zIyf_aJke19pTlLcImre3UOos-kNbJ53FVnROg-JP9FJM/s1600/Daniel+and+I+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi53YmBIm8fznWVTv0jv2cxR8fY0lbi3M81O4Ls_09OSCZ8oNWCFq3mSFDNBhTYMW3zIiJmiuXxy1dL47VOVboaYJQVfHlEG0zIyf_aJke19pTlLcImre3UOos-kNbJ53FVnROg-JP9FJM/s1600/Daniel+and+I+.jpg" height="201" width="320" /></a></div>
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(Photo: Esprit Jolie- Sheena Fought (owner) and Kate Arnzen)</div>
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My biological father is gone. He died of heart disease- very
young. Anyway… I think it was a few weeks ago, I was asked how old he was. I
replied, “he’s deceased”. I honestly think that was the first time that those
words ever came out of my mouth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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He gave me his curly hair. His infectious smile. His love
for life…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Weeks before he died, I listened to his regrets in life.
Many of which revolved around him not being in my life. He talked about how
sorry that he was not there to watch me grow up. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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After he died, I went to his house in Texas. He didn’t have
many belongings, but he did have a lot of picture of my family and his grand
kids. Pictures and letters that I wrote, because he didn’t do the whole Internet
thing. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Besides, who does not love snail
mail? And, I would have had no idea that he had all of those, if he would not
have died. Before he died, he constantly told me about how proud he was of me, and
how sorry he was to miss it, and how much he enjoyed watching Ashlynn and Avery
grow up. He died shortly after Mia was born.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And, I think of Dominic. Who, has been able to get a glimpse
into the last 2 years of our life. Stories, that I could never re-tell. For
that reason alone, I am glad I blogged through Daniel’s cancer diagnosis and
bone marrow transplant. He holds such a special place in our hearts, and he
deserves to see how much he impacted our lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So where am I going with this?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Someday when you are looking back on the memories of your
life, I do not think that it is much of a leap to think that those memories
simply exist in photographs. They are words that make you laugh, snap shots of
moments that simply, make your heart swell, and conversations that start
things. And, end things. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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So much life happens through technology. Just do not forget
to look up. Eye contact is so good for the soul. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We are headed out on a family vacation… a short one. We board a plane next Thursday and head towards Orlando. Disney bound again. To be able to witness the magic of Disney through your children's eyes, is one of the best feelings in the world. Blessed beyond words.</div>
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<br /></div>
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XOXO,</div>
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Kristin</div>
kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-42111575722820210612013-10-20T11:43:00.000-07:002013-10-20T11:43:02.694-07:00On Compassion
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Ever
since Ashlynn (my first born) was a very small child, I have strived to always
tell her that she, like everyone else born into this world are born as a very
unique individual. I have tried to maintain that theory while raising all three
of my girls. Never missing a chance to remind them of their unique qualities
that they bring to our family, their school, and everywhere else. And, not
every person is alike. Each person has a very special “light” of some kind. All
of your talents, all of your gifts, all of the joy and enthusiasm that you give
to the world, your smile, your courageous laughter, your intriguing ideas, are
all so very important. And, those things combined, make you, you. I think life
and parenting is all about teachable moments. With our kids, spouses, friends,
family. Discovering how can not only use our “light”, but also be a light to
one another...everyday is important. And the best thing about your light, is
that you have the freedom to turn it up a notch anytime and anywhere! One should
never let their light burn out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Throughout
my life, I have tried to uphold a positive perspective. My perspective is
honestly, a quality or a “light” that I have been given that has gotten me
through many challenges in life. I know that most people my age have not
experienced near the amount of challenges that I have in my life at my age.
Perspective is everything. It is not a new thought or anything we have not
heard before...but it changes everything. How we choose to view what is ahead.
The road we are on. The valley we are in or the mountain we are on top of. Regardless,
the only thing we can ever control when life goes array and it will go array.
Life is how we choose to see it. To embrace it. To dive into it. Will we see
hope, light, and joy...or...dark, deep, and scary. Sometimes they are jumbled
together into one. I love that freedom because that is real. That is the human
heart. The constant dilemma between our head and our heart and how the two join
together. I have seen this many times in my life. But, the biggest event that
posed the biggest challenge thus far in my life was when my husband Daniel was
diagnosed with cancer. Let me tell you, cancer changes lives! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">In
April 2011, my husband was diagnosed with a very rare form of leukemia. Such a rare
leukemia, that he was only given a 1% chance of survival without a bone marrow
transplant. After many months of treatment, he received his bone marrow
transplant on August 4, 2011. The transplanted cells were harvested from a
gentleman that early on, we knew was very special. Today, we have so much
admiration for him and believe that he is truly a remarkable person.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When
Daniel was diagnosed, my heart shut down and my light immediately went out. I
think that it was months my before my heart started beating again and even
longer for my light to come back on. So what made my light come back on?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">While
Daniel was in the hospital we received many gifts- one of which is a book that
you may be familiar with. The book- Don’t Waste Your Life, by John Piper. I
read the book in its entirety and out of curiosity, researched John Piper one
night while in the hospital. What I found was that John Piper is a preacher,
and a reputable author who once was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Among some of
the work that he has written, has included 10 points that Christian’s diagnosed
with cancer should follow. I won’t get
deep into those ten points, but if you want to look them up, they are easily
searchable on the internet. He believes and encourages you to believe that
cancer is not wasted when its healed by God. It is important to note that he
believes that cancer is healed by both medicine and God. My favorite citation
from his resource library is the following:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">“So not to pray for healing may waste your
cancer. But healing is not God’s plan for everyone. And there are many other
ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not
waste this pain. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to
pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God’s plan for
everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for
myself and for you that we will not waste this pain”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
tenth point is most definitely my favorite point- and it has always stuck with
me: <b><i>you will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of
witness to the truth and glory of Christ.</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
night that I read the words within this exerpt, a revelation took over me. I
firmly believe that cancer was given to Daniel and I and it is up to us to
decide whether we waste it or not. So, today I plan to share with you one part
of how I have decided to not waste our cancer by using the “light” that God has
given me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
had to ask myself what I wanted in life. I could choose to be sad, helpless, or
anything else similar. Being a positive person a majority of the time, I chose
to move on, make the best of what I could, and make a difference somehow with the
gifts that I had been given. However, the key thing to the success of my plans
was not clear- and that, was my path. How I was going to get there. I didn’t
know where to go and I most certainly, felt lost. One night in the hospital, I
began to think about what I wanted and what I actually had and how I could
combine the two to make something out of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">What
I began to realize is that I have a whole lot of excellent qualities. Yes, my
family has certainly faced challenges in life. One of the greatest qualities
that I have is that I have a lot of compassion. Now, don’t judge me when I tell
you this. But as a young child, I loved Richard Simmons. Not only because of
his extreme quirkiness, but more for what he did to help people become
healthier individuals. My entire work life has been dedicated to helping people
of all ages. As I was thinking about my love for the word <i>compassion, I
realized that was what I could offer to the world.</i> To me, the yearning to
be compassionate resonates God saying, “HELP! One of my children needs you. Do
something!” When I feel compassion, I have to have to ACT upon it. As a
nurse, I have learned that Compassion is NOT <i>your heart’s pain in my heart</i>.
To me- that’s called pity. Compassion is <i>YOUR HEART’S PAIN INTO MY HEART and
it radiates throughout my entire body.</i> Real compassion demands action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Do
you want to know something very special about the word compassion? The first
part of the word is compass. We all wonder throughout life without any concise
directions. I am a planner. I constantly wonder what should I do next? Where I
should turn? What steps I should take? How can I find what I need? My friends,
those are normal thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
use the voice, or the feeling of compassion as my internal compass. With my
internal compass- I have found that I can get what I need when I run<i> towards
</i>the very things and people and places that need me. With compassion, all
that is required of me is to reach out my arms, open my hands and help someone
out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Compassion
for others has allowed me to not waste our cancer and most certainty has got us
to a place of acceptance of the uncertainty. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
believe that cancer has brought any great opportunities in our life. We have
developed many new friendships that would have never of been formed, had cancer
not presented itself in our life. The most incredible friend that we have is
Dominic, Daniel’s donor. Dominic is a 45 year- old man from Germany. He is
married and collectively, he and his wife have 3 children. He is an incredible
man! While we communicate through facebook, it is our desire to one day meet
him, as he is very special to our family. And, so I introduce Dominic to you:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizzQxmmY0Bkx4XZq3i0ij2NbfJK4h35R-BDsQhav2N86z2-7slBItrEbTE-b_xLCOQRfd61CGtdpWEVBjs6iqq6vT7esFuuzRWiFQFM_Ors4W62RjOX_uu7a5Fnld9oshoS9m85W_1dtg/s1600/Dominic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 19px; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizzQxmmY0Bkx4XZq3i0ij2NbfJK4h35R-BDsQhav2N86z2-7slBItrEbTE-b_xLCOQRfd61CGtdpWEVBjs6iqq6vT7esFuuzRWiFQFM_Ors4W62RjOX_uu7a5Fnld9oshoS9m85W_1dtg/s320/Dominic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Personally,
cancer has made me a better wife, a better mother, a better friend, and much
more compassionate which has ultimately led me into the career of nursing. Our
journey through cancer has lended me the courage needed to know that what ever
I am doing, whatever I do, wherever I go, and whatever happens, I have a newly
developed strength to get through it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
want to do things that I do not believe that I can do. I want to live life in a
fuller, deeper, and richer way. He is strong when we are weak. He gives us
everything we need even when we can't see it and we are scared and we feel
alone and we not sure what is ahead. I embrace this new perspective. This new
view on life- I am oh so thankful for it. Is there still pain and heartache and
deep wounds in cancer. YES, of course. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
have many days where I struggle to find ways to nurture my children, and days
where I definitely want to undo what I have done, and definitely days where I
feel inadequate. I am sure that you have days where you struggle. Throughout
all of this, I have learned that you just don’t know as much as you think you
do. I constantly find myself always learning and attempting to correct myself
along the way. I have found that if you learn to adapt, things will eventually
work out. Trying to understand how or why this happened has been a challenge
that I still continue to face daily. I constantly worry about our future. The
future of my children, what life will look like 5 years from now and so on.
Every time that we drive to St. Louis for lab-work and appointments with
Daniel’s cancer doctor, I worry. To be honest, I am not sure that those
feelings will ever subside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Today,
We have a new life, I have a new job, I have a new school curriculum, Avery
started first grade this year, and this year, is the first year that Mia has
attended day care by herself. My children are constantly adapting to new, new,
new. Sometimes, I feel that all of this combined has left little room for any
of my children to grow as they are constantly struggling to adapt. On the other
hand, I also find my self very proud of my children because they are doing so
well, and growing and developing appropriately.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
can gladly say that I finally feel like I have arrived full circle, and I am
right where I need to be. And, I have no idea how I got here other than a
supportive community, a positive perspective and the many prayers that I said
and the prayers that have been sent up for me. I think that most people worry
about their future and their children’s future, so I believe that my thoughts
are pretty normal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Today,
I choose to embrace the unknown and the lack of control in life. The fact that
things rarely turn out the way we want them too, IS OK. Like other cancer
survivors, I choose hope and courage and strength in whatever may come. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Today,
I want to challenge you to run towards your family members, or friends, or
someone that you have never met. Listen to their stories and look at their
pictures. And while you do, please pay close attention to your own body. Notice
how you feel. If you feel that familiar tug of compassion, let it be your
compass. Let it be the voice that says- TRY IT, GO FOR IT. Give your family
members, your friends, or those that you have never met, what they need, AND
THEN SEE IF THAT OFFERING RETURNS TO YOU WHAT YOU NEED. I promise you, it will
give you what you need. Results aren’t always immediate, and sometimes they
take time. Jump in, get involved. See, if just for today, offering a stranger
radical love provides you with the senses of peace, belonging, joy, and
empowerment that you may be searching for. I encourage you to let compassion be
your compass today. No matter what challenges you face, please, never dim your light,
or let it diminish the least little bit. Don’t ever think that your light is
not good enough, for it will shine brightly one day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .25in; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><span style="font-size: 19px;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-66095062720433268572013-08-22T20:07:00.002-07:002013-08-22T20:07:39.312-07:00Who YOU Are!I have been blogging for a little over 2 years now. I don't know if you've noticed, but this little blog has been viewed nearly 56,000 times! That's crazy! But, for 2 years, y'all have gotten to know me, you have followed the Presley family through crazy times, even when times weren't so great. This blog began almost immediately following a cancer diagnosis that ripped our family apart. Y'all followed daily, not really knowing if it were a good day, or a bad day with Daniel. About a year ago, I contemplated continuing to blog. Daniel's health was continually improving... And it seems life got down right crazy!<br />
<br />
One night, I went back and read my entries from the very start, and I quickly realized that there was so much that I had forgotten. That's when I decided to continue writing. Mainly for my children- the blog serves as a reminder of how cancer affected us. And so I arrive here today. Even more glad that I blogged (I will get to that point shortly).<br />
<br />
For 2 years you've gotten to know me well. Often, I wonder who YOU are... Because, I see the states and countries from which my blog is read. And, every so often, I get a email indicating how the blog has touched them. And, I would love to share them with the rest of my readers. However, out if respect, I tuck them safely away, reaching for them when I need a few words of encouragement.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My stumblings and failures and imperfections … AND my strengths – I put each and every one of them out there. It started for the kids but somewhere along the way YOU started to read, too.</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And you looked the other way when I made mistakes, knowing that somehow, somewhere, I would figure it out.</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And you cheered me on when I finally did.</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And you forgave me when I was incapable of responding to your kindness and you understood when I didn’t leave my house for months on end except when I had to take the kids to school. Or for food.</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And I often think about just how afraid I was. How sad and scared and how I was incapable of holding conversations. </span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">All the times I would look at people and watch their mouths move and didn’t hear a word that was coming out.</span></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">How I could see the love, or sadness, or empathy in their eyes but I couldn’t feel anything at all.</span></div>
You were still there!<br />
<br />
This week, I could not have been more proud that I blogged. A new follower of mine just happens to be Daniel's donor. For now, we shall call him " D" out of respect. A man, who is so incredible. Because I never remember details... I'm so glad that he can read every entry to see how much he impacted our life! I truly look forward to sharing more about him... He is an amazing, kind hearted man with a very interesting story!<br />
<br />
And so the purpose of this blog becomes even more clear to me. I'm even more thankful tonight for each of you being there, for checking in, and simply... Keeping it real! It's about the Presley's in this moment... Isn't it?<br />
<br />
Xoxo Kristinkristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-55899832939152882392013-08-14T08:49:00.002-07:002013-08-14T08:49:33.444-07:002- Years... Post-transplant
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">August 3<sup>rd</sup> we
celebrated a cancer-free diagnosis with 1,000 other folks who are just like
Daniel. Folks that too, have received bone marrow transplants. This year
happened to be the 20<sup>th</sup> celebration- twenty years of transplanting
stem cells. It’s amazing how many lives have forever been changed because of
volunteer donors. Research has come a long way- and there is still room for
improvements. We meet new cancer friends each year, and this year we met some
amazing men and their wives who were transplanted not long before Daniel. So,
you compare stories and ours is nothing like theirs- which reminds us of how
blessed we truly are. After the gala, we attended a small, private celebration
with Dr. DiPersio, his staff and other physicians within his circa. His nurse
practitioner is truly the finest, always putting up with Daniel’s shenanigans,
and providing her time to listen to me and my concerns, never misunderstanding
anything! We have formed such a good relationship with all of them. As she
introduced us to research staff, she would give them inform them of the type/
types of leukemia that Daniel was diagnosed with. As she put it –“it’s the
really bad kind of leukemia”. Which, always gets a interesting look from folks-
apparently, he doesn’t fit the mold. I guess, he’s pretty special in the
leukemia world, most like him don’t survive. As they discuss him and his
future, I really do feel blessed. His outcomes have been nothing short of
excellent- any of the physician’s up there will tell you that! Hearing that,
gives you a really good feeling, but at the same time, makes you want to vomit.
So, I find myself trying to remember that the only thing that we can control is
the present- what is right here in front of us. It is hard. Really hard, when
you are quickly reminded that we are in a really good spot with the current
state of Daniel’s health. It is easy to get wrapped up in your insecurities and
fears in life. Dang it, life is hard any way that you look at it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia;">I found this quote- it
helps remind me that time heals. And no matter how much the world is pushing
against me, I am so much stronger!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6b4449; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">“In the midst of winter, I found there was,<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #6b4449; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">within me, an invincible summer.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Acceptance
and acknowledgement of where we have been, where we are now, and how we have
gotten here are reminders of the greatness of life itself. Sometimes, we just
need those reminders that have given way to life. I know that we have just had
our share of unlucky times. However, I recognize that the tide has turned. And,
I can’t tell you how incredibly thankful I am for that!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">XOXO,
Kristin</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-3213300825947632622013-07-04T00:09:00.000-07:002013-07-04T00:16:34.924-07:00A Birthday Post<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I guess it’s that time again, to create a list that the last
year has taught me. A few short hours ago, I properly packaged up and said
good-bye to my thirtieth year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here are a few things
that 30 taught me:<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Witnessing Disney in your children’s eyes for
the first time is nothing short of the term magical!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Graduating college at 21 is sweet, but
graduating college at 30 with three children, a husband, and grown-up
responsibilities is BITTERSWEET!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->During the last two years of my life, I have met
some gals that will forever remain extra special in my heart. One day short of
my 3oth year of existence, 2 of them were able to help me fulfill
one of my bucket-list items. A pact we made some time ago…. To take our NCLEX
(nursing boards) together in Springfield, Mo. Who knew that busting your tail
to study day in, and day out for 2 plus weeks would do nothing for you but make
you say “You have got to be kidding me” and quickly realizing, that you must
have studied the wrong material would make you mad, frustrated, and exuberant
all at once? I must say, Hannah, Janette and I- quite the team we are! We must
not forget about Miranda or Amanda… they are very much apart of the team, just
weren’t able to make the trip. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->There is nothing more critical than taking just
a few minutes to stop and play with your children. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->I’ve learned that being and “ideal” weight is a
good goal, but a better goal is to be healthy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->It’s okay to define your own definition/ version
of the term “mom”. And, it really is okay if it looks much different than what
you may see around you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->In my thirtieth year, I learned to recognize
that being broken is okay and even more so, important. You can never know too
much of anything. Learning new information can transform you in ways that are
breathtaking. L<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->I’ve learned that, Yes, I am capable of so much.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-<span style="font-size: 7pt;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Finally, I have learned that birthdays are very
special. Celebrate them! This birthday is exactly one-month short of a very
important birthday in our household- We celebrate 2 more years of healthy,
cancer-free cells in Daniel’s body. Near that birthdate, we hope to gain
information that we have dreamed about regarding Daniel’s donor. A true hero he
is and we yearn to explore who he is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now, I can properly store 30 away and graciously welcome my
thirty-first year. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-7222554599354370822013-06-21T19:38:00.000-07:002013-06-21T19:39:33.136-07:00Some People Are So Poor... All They Have is MoneyDid you watch The Voice? We absolutely lived to watch that show weekly. There is a lot to be said about me watching any sort of television show. I don't watch TV often. In fact, I most days, the television never even gets turned on at our house. I don't have the ability to sit and watch television or movies... without being bored out of my mind. I know- its a bit crazy. Anyhow, a few weeks ago the Swon Brothers sang a rendition of Danny's Song. The version that I am most familiar is the Anne Murray version (it's the country version). In fact, it was a song that was played at mine and Daniel's wedding. Ashlynn asked me what the meaning of the song was that night and I explained to her the meaning behind the following part of the lyrics:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Corbel, helvetica, verdana, arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">"And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with ya honey,</span></i></div>
<div style="font-style: italic; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Corbel, helvetica, verdana, arial; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">And everything will bring a chain of love.</span></i></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Corbel, helvetica, verdana, arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Corbel, helvetica, verdana, arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: transparent;">And in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes,</i></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Corbel, helvetica, verdana, arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;">
</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><div style="font-family: 'Segoe UI', Corbel, helvetica, verdana, arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;">And tell me everything is gonna be alright."</i></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Segoe UI', Corbel, helvetica, verdana, arial; font-size: 13px; font-style: italic; line-height: 20px; text-align: center;">
<i style="background-color: transparent;"><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">And, while in discussion with her about this, it brought me back to my childhood. I grew up in a middle-class neighborhood called Meadow Bend in League City Texas for most of my childhood. However, across the street were the big houses, the mansions- their neighborhood was South Shore Harbor. They had gates with a call station you had to go to before you could enter. And, on Halloween... those were the best houses to trick-or-treat at. Famous folks lived there. Astronauts lived there. When I was little, I can remember casually asking my dad if we were "rich". I guess it was just me trying to figure out how I stacked up against my friends. I can remember him getting so mad at me for asking that question. In fact, I will never forget that look in his eyes that vary day when I asked him that. Both of my parents were very hard working folks. He stopped in his tracks and said to me "We are rich in family, and in love, and that is all that you should worry about." Today, looking back, I find it kind of ironic that he of all people would say that.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But the other night, that thought came back to haunt me. It's strange. Maybe, it was that I finally understood what was being said that day. It was just 20 years or so later....</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">But, that dad disappeared shortly after because of the addiction problems that he continuously had that ultimately led to a divorce that left my family is shambles for quite some time. Maybe, his lesson didn't mean that much to me until I had my own family. That night, I thought about him. How he came back into my life in 2008 and passed away in 2010- actually on mine and Daniel's wedding anniversary. Poof... gone just like that. </span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">I think about what he meant by the term "rich in family", and I get it now. Because, I am very rich in family and I feel that "richness" each and every time that I witness my children doing something amazing (Ash mastering her gymnastics routines, Avery gleaming because she wrote her name, and Mia learning from her sisters), or Daniel cuddling with his girls in bed, reading to them. That richness doesn't stop there. I feel it when I talk to my mom on the phone, when I look at the amazing friendships that have cultivated into a sister-hood... and even more richness is felt </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;">when you have that sense of feeling important by those that you love. We are "rich", very "rich".</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So tonight, I think about a man, who isn't here today, and ultimately never got to see the value in the lessons that he taught me so early in my life. Those lessons, continue to bare their fruit as I share them with my children. Its funny how our thought patterns work.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In other news... Here are some dates to keep in mind. Prayers appreciated greatly:</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;">July 10th- Daniel has a surgery scheduled to repair a abscess that created a fistula. If you remember, he had a </span><span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;">surgical procedure a few months ago and it was far too complicated to repair at that time. Surgery is not the best option for Daniel because he is at such a huge risk for infection. However, it has to be done. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">July 22nd- 2-YEAR FOLLOW-UP with Dr. DiPersio. This is our BMT follow-up. This will be a big day with a whole gamut of tests to be completed.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Finally... sometime in July (I am not giving the specific date), I am taking my state boards. Wish me luck! </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">XOXO Kristin</span></span></div>
</span>kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-36622450615623546942013-05-01T17:20:00.001-07:002013-05-01T17:20:41.174-07:002 Years... An Update <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Although things seem to be going well (very well), there is still a place inside my heart where I ache over cancer. Being at Siteman Cancer Center brings me back to the road we walked. Vivid reminders of what it all looked like and what it felt like for us. Sometimes, I still have a hard time even believing that cancer even happened. At times, I even catch myself thinking...<i>other people get cancer. Not Daniel, not us. That kind of thing, happens to other people</i>. Right? But, days like today, remind me quickly, that no it doesn't. It did touch my family. And, statistics show that it will most likely, touch yours eventually. Maybe not cancer. But something big. Something scary. Nothing about cancer or any major sickness even, is fun. Cancer is horrible. Chemo is horrible. Getting blood drawn regularly is horrible. Answering your children’s questions about cancer and death… is horrible. Every time Daniel gets the least bit sick, the girls automatically say “I hope daddy doesn’t have to go to the hospital for a long time”. It’s emotionally and physically draining. However, cancer is but something that can end up being one of the greatest things that will ever happen to you. Daniel did not walk that path alone, and neither did I. We were never alone. I know that it wasn’t only up to the great physicians that we encountered, or the treatment facility, or the wonderful drugs that he received. Daniel and I learned a great deal about one another through our experience. And, we learned trust. So for that, I am thankful. With time, we are beginning to heal and I am finally understanding this.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today, we were waiting to see Daniel’s nurse practitioner after the gammit of bloodwork. Next to us was a young lady that was probably close to our age. I noticed that the she had a bag that had a distinct drawing on the front. For those who may not know, Dr. DiPersio (Daniel’s dr) founded Siteman Cancer Center. In fact, there were only 2 oncologists in the entire Barnes Hospital when he came on board. Anyhow, yearly, he has a celebration for the survivors of bone marrow transplants. Each year, he draws a new “cell man”. This year marks the 20<sup>th</sup> year that Siteman has been transplanting stem cells. This year is a huge year for those survivors as well as Dr. DiPersio. Anyhow, that bag, had the picture for this years celebration. So, I asked her if she was attending and she said, “ This year will be first. I’m 69 days post-transplant”. I engaged in some conversation with her and she discussed her feelings and how scary life post-transplant seems. I directed her towards Daniel. And said “look at this, this is what 2 years post-transplant looks like”. As she was walking back into the treatment rooms, she said “thank you, that is very encouraging- because he looks really good”. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Two full years after a cancer diagnosis. What does life look like for Daniel? Daniel does not live the same life that a normal 31 year old does. He still takes many pills, including a low-dose chemotherapy pill daily. He receives and IV immunoglobulin treatment every 6 weeks, he still follows up with his doctors in St. Louis every 3 months, he has incredibly dry eyes due to the lack of tear making capabilities that GVHD has caused and most importantly, he still has the immune system of a newborn baby. However, he never lets it get in his way. Today, we saw his nurse practitioner for his 2-year post cancer follow-up. His lab work looks great. He looks great. Still battling a colorectal problem, which involves a pretty big surgery in the next month or so (biggest risk- infection). Other than that--- he is doing great. We also saw his eye doctor. He believes that his eyes have improved and with due time, will improve greatly. He informed us that sometimes, it could take 3 years or so to see those improvements. Daniel heads back to see Dr. DiPersio in July and will then go through a more extensive round of tests which include his annual bone-density exam and routine blood work that checks for the Philadelphia chromosome (you know, the one that caused all of the problems to begin with). Notice, I did not include that he will be having a bone marrow biopsy! I am not sure that he will ever have another one- unless there is suspicion that needs to be further investigated. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Since I last wrote, I am closer to graduating nursing school. May 18<sup>th</sup> is the big day. A day that we all are very much looking forward too! I have since enrolled in a bachelor’s program. I can’t seem to stop where I am. I have big dreams--- so bare with me! I have enjoyed my children so much the last few weeks. Mia has finally become very verbal. Ashlynn is wrapping up 2<sup>nd</sup> grade and Avery had kindergarten screening a few weeks ago. For a while, I’ve been somewhat transparent about Avery. Focusing more of my energy on Mia and the lack of verbal skills that she possessed and that she was still taking a bottle at night (which she is no longer doing), and the fact that she isn’t potty trained, that I became very insensitive to some of Avery’s needs. But sometimes my transparency helps … so I share with that in mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Avery is such a loving, bright little girl. She just has always marched to her own beat. And gets in no hurry what so ever. Never really interested in what others are doing, she happily does her own thing and just sort of collides with what is expected of her (to be potty trained, to pay attention to directions, to wait her turn without zoning out, to stay out of people’s personal space). And because of it, little flags are going off that she needs some help catching up. I worry that kindergarten is going to eat her alive. I don’t want her to be judged. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trying to understand how/why this has happened (she is not challenged in anyway…she just doesn’t see the importance of the expectations placed on her) – and of course, my lack of attention giving ability with school and Daniel’s needs over the past two years, has left little room for her to settle in and just grow. She has been busy constantly adapting. This makes me also realize how proud of Ashlynn I am. She is doing so well with the hands she has been dealt – (especially since he is older and more aware of what happened). Ashlynn naturally, gets things, whether in sports, academics, whatever. She is extremely intelligent and requires little directions. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, today I struggle with how to help Avery. How to nurture her. How to undo what I can. It’s often a feeling of inadequacy. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to thank you for continuing to follow me… and for being patient and as always, continuing to keep Daniel in your thoughts. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">XOXO Kristin Presley<o:p></o:p></span></div><!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-27529662409644044802013-03-14T13:06:00.002-07:002013-03-14T13:06:18.759-07:00Sink or Swim...
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Its
been a while, I know. I feel like I have been leading a secret life the past
year and a half for a few reasons.. Early on (first semester), some crazy stuff
went down with some of my classmates and social media, which pretty much
resulted in us not being able to say much about nursing school. Another reason,
is that I feared failure, and decided not to really speak much about school
itself. I guess that I am by far, more conservative than I thought and more
fearful than I chalk myself up to be. But, I can now say that I took my last final
and have moved on to my preceptorship. May 18<sup>th</sup>, I receive my
nursing pin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
have a huge sense of relief, and it feels good. The last two years of my life
have been extremely chaotic. I have to really think about what year Mia was
born, and what year Daniel was diagnosed… because it all seems like a huge
blur. And when I talk about my “plan b” becoming a reality, everyone wants to
know what my next plans are now. And, the truth is… I don’t know. I am trying
to decide on continuing my education or to “just be”. Do I get my BSN, and
continue on with my Masters, or do I use my original degree and go straight on
to my Master’s… I know that you can’t go wrong with more education, but part of
me wants to just take a break. And a job? I have no clue what area interests me
the most, because it all does! Do you see how confusing this is? So many
decisions to be made…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Trying
to go with my heart. Wondering if it’s right or wrong….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">For
once, life seems simple and satisfying. I yearn for a heart that isn’t so numb,
a schedule that isn’t filled with busy-but-not-important things, and the common
sense to re-prioritize things that are not working for me anymore. And, there
is a whole lot of <i>that </i>in my life!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I’m
noticing the girls are growing up overnight at a faster pace than ever before …
and it feels awful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Which
reminds me. We are coming up on a 2-year anniversary. Two years! Has it really
been that long? I think about how young the girls were. A few weeks ago,
Ashlynn was producing some mad artwork. She made a leukemia awareness poster,
orange ribbon and all. How did she even know that Daniel had leukemia? At
first, I was so sad for her. He is their Dad. I still have a feeling of
vulnerability everyday, you know. Is that normal? Not that he is going anywhere. But he could.
Does that make the least bit of sense? I still have a huge hole of lonliness
that I really hoped would be filled by now, and it isn’t. With all of that
being said, I truly know that our family is truly blessed. Its really just that
one moment when you look over your shoulder and you realize that your past is barely
visible and ask yourself if you are indeed, doing the right thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And I guess I don’t know that answer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Please keep Daniel in your prayers next week- Wednesday
specifically. He is having a minor surgery (we hope). He has been cleared for
the procedure through Dr. DiPersio, but we are also aware that he truly isn’t the
best candidate for any surgical procedure. More on that… sometime next week. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14.0pt;">XOXO Kri</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-32481036679260038152013-01-10T13:37:00.001-08:002013-01-10T13:37:09.800-08:00Happy New Year<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<img alt="2013" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-5358" height="320" src="http://www.sportymeetsposh.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/2013-318x426.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; border: 1px solid transparent; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; color: #333333; display: block; font-family: 'Century Gothic', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 2px; text-align: center;" width="238" /></div>
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<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">We didn’t toast champagne; I didn’t
wear a dress with sequins or glitter. But from the way that it felt… there was
a promise of something good present, and there could be nothing any prettier or
better! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">We witnessed the magic of Disney
through our children’s eyes…. AMAZING! Lot’s of firsts… thankful that we were
able to experience them together!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEireyuW7na4SkbGTy7lq0nn4ViGUfVnoy3L1-VI6xYzM509OYvziMmT5sVfMvffBl4zV5ueaIb7X0vEb_3wPuQXfHBFZU0Iynu5vaN1udasaE1K90Gojhz7NKllLTkbeiayt3sZcx1D8gw/s1600/IMG_3373.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEireyuW7na4SkbGTy7lq0nn4ViGUfVnoy3L1-VI6xYzM509OYvziMmT5sVfMvffBl4zV5ueaIb7X0vEb_3wPuQXfHBFZU0Iynu5vaN1udasaE1K90Gojhz7NKllLTkbeiayt3sZcx1D8gw/s320/IMG_3373.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">2012 was good to me, and my family.
No doubt about it. I will always remember this year. The people. The
experiences. The books that I have read. The travels. The best family road
trips ever. Good health. Brilliant physicians. Most of all, the continued
growth within my family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">I have learned in the last year
that “life” may not go as I planned it. Secretly weeping, doesn’t do any good.
Being angry, definitely doesn’t change things. I have realized that uncertainty
in my future is meant to be- that goes for every single one of us! I have
finally learned (somewhat) to let go of my life plans- and just let it be! I am
finally at a place where I feel like I can breathe again, and it feels
wonderful, and refreshing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Most of all, I am thankful for the
blessing of having a supportive husband. One who is always <i>there</i>. We talk about being supportive spouses often, and he
regularly expresses gratitude towards me for the support of him and our
children while he was in the hospital, the transplant process, and the “after”
process. None of which are easy. I have learned that, for our life experiences,
I have never loved him more!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Being able to look ahead for the
first time in a while, and not be afraid—feels so good!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">As we ended our final evening of
2012 as a complete family, I looked up into the sky and whispered “All of this?
Thank you, thank you, thank you!” And made a promise that I most certainly will
do something good with the blessings that I have been given!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Here is to the start of something
good….<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #616161; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">XOXO, Kristin</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-77574855935610629772012-11-24T17:21:00.001-08:002012-11-24T17:21:47.628-08:00 Fall break… and a little bit of thankful!
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">"<i>To make bread or love, to dig in the earth, to feed an
animal or cook for a stranger - these activities require no extensive
commentary, no lucid theology. All they require is someone willing to bend,
reach, chop, stir. Most of these tasks are so full of pleasure that there is no
need to complicate things by calling them holy. And yet these are the same
activities that change lives, sometimes all at once and sometimes more slowly,
the way dripping water changes stone. In a world where faith is often construed
as a way of thinking, bodily practices remind the willing that faith is a way
of life</i>". ~ Barbara Brown Taylor</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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I love Thanksgiving! It is my most favorite time of the
year, I love the smells, the decorations, the dishes, the chopping, the food,
the feeling off fullness, and the family and friends that fill my kitchen or
the kitchens of others. This year our thanksgiving was spread out among many
days. And, it was wonderful!<o:p></o:p></div>
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About thanks. Y’all know that I am incredibly thankful! Hopefully,
my children will know that we are very grateful for the lives that we have been
given. Whether it be from the cloth banner that hangs in the entryway of our
kitchen, from the many thank-you’s that we say throughout their childhood. Our
thanks for not only the good food, but for a safe home, our health, well- trained
doctors, awesome friends, and cool toys. The things that I just mentioned are
important, believe me! But, I want my children to be able to rattle those
things off just as easy as they can say “I love you”- to me that is most
important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not just once a year.
Hopefully, our reasons to be grateful, wont fade through the years. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This year we talked about the things that we were grateful
for- which ranged from those less original, however still very important things
such as houses, schooling, family. However, there were also the other “things”
to be grateful for such as leukemia,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be
The Match- for providing that special bone marrow donor… things that changed
our lives forever. Giving thanks isn’t the best part about Thanksgiving. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The best things come when no ones really watching. It’s when
the kitchen is pure chaos, dishes are being removed from the oven and being
hot-padded to the serving table, the families huddled on the couch
listening<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and watching<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he roaring football game, and the laughter
heard around the room. That’s the good stuff! That is what makes me want to grab
the kids, and tell them that THIS… is Thanksgiving! This right here, is being
thankful!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last year I learned so many important things. I think that I
have tried to convey many of those throughout the last year. But, one thing
that I learned was that the true meaning of gratitude arrives on its own. I
just hope that my children truly get it! I hope that they are reminded that
there are so many countries in the world that have hungry people and lack
clothing to cover their backs, and that there are some people in our county
that have the same misfortunes. However, there are also people who live near us,
in our little town, that also have the same problems… sometimes we fail to
recognize it. Because, there things don’t happen to the people that we know-
right?<o:p></o:p></div>
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This year, our family hosted a Thanksgiving dinner at our
house for my side of the family. Little did my children know, there was a
homeless man who sat at our table. You would have never known, and they sure
didn’t recognize it either. He was a friend of my uncle, who has just had some
tough times. He, was very thankful for the meal put before him and the
wholesome welcome that he had given him at our house. That’s what it is about!
At our house, you don’t have to receive an invite to show up. And, we sure
aren’t going to turn anyone away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Being able to provide for others, is one of the best
feelings in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So yes, I am very
thankful tonight. Thankful that I have a heart that remains thankful for the
big things! The things that we are given are gifts… we don’t deserve anything
given to us! I hope that we are reminded that we should be thankful all year
long- not just one night.<span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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My goals for the next few weeks: One- completing my 3<sup>rd</sup>
semester of nursing school. immediately after December 13<sup>th</sup>- I plan
on focusing on simplicity because, usually I tend to oscillate between
challenging myself to be just like I used to be (decorating up my entire house,
planning the entire holiday season all December long…) and wanting to curl up
on the sofa and do absolutely nothing. This season, the sofa side is winning!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Happy November y’all! XOXO Kristin<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-64831777971370633112012-10-17T17:43:00.000-07:002012-10-17T17:47:20.338-07:00In Case You Wondered...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">“You
either walk inside your story and <i>own it</i> or you stand outside your story
& <i>hustle for your worthiness</i>”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Doesn’t that ring true for each and every one of
us?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Which brings up a good point. I have lacked in
the whole blog business. With Facebook, texting and blogging added with and
everything else we do, we tend to lose the real connections with the ones we
love the most- hence the kiddos, husband, friends… you name it. It’s like the
virtual world is more important that those right in front of you, which is
absolutely absurd when you think about it. I am probably the guiltiest of all!
It all seems to be easier, and less time consuming- or so it seems. Most of the
time, my phone is on silent when I am at home- mainly because noises unnerve
me. I know weird huh! But the reason that I want to really believe to be true…-
the people I love are right in front of me and I really don’t care who else is
texting me or calling (not that I don’t love my friends and family), and I am
not checking on dings and rings … but I am studying, reading, or cooking dinner
or running (which I have not done since this horrid semester began) or
snuggling on the sofa or learning how to play or talking –like really talking –
to my family. Honestly, I think it would be really nice to be able to let go of
Facebook- for good (especially now that it is election season), but it just
isn’t possible. Too many old friends, new friends and long distance family to
keep in touch with. However, when I shut it all off…I feel better, more grounded
and content. And how crazy that it takes hiding my phone or leaving it on
silent, before the outside world and all it’s demands cannot reach me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">I also thought about giving up blogging. My posts
are so few and far between each one of them. So when I really think about
stopping, I think about the real reason that I began it in the first place. I
wanted: one- for all those interested to know the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real</i> story, that often included dreaded words flung together in
nonsense sentences, that I never dreamed would ever come out of my mouth. But I
wanted YOU to know the truth, as ugly as it was! Second, I wanted the girls’ to
have a story book about their lives- our lives- uncensored. Because I knew that
oneday, when they were old enough to understand the curve balls that were
thrown at our family, they would get the most accurate answers. We seem to
forget things. Some by chance, some by choice. Anyway, I often begin posts, on
my phone, then I delete them. But somewhere down the road, I find myself
wanting to tell our story, any story, or thoughts… and then I decide to share.
And today, I am not deleting it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Do you want to hear something exciting? I
registered for my final- yes I said FINAL semester of classes on Monday. I
yearn for May 2013! This is such an exciting thing- for myself and my
classmates! The statistics of making it to graduation in nursing school, are
pretty slim. We began with a class of 29. Our class lost 9 folks last year!
But, we gained 3 very deserving ladies who add so much character to our class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">I cannot wait to finally regain control over my
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">It’s the little things. For instance… I have the
incredible fortune of having the best girlfriends a person could ask for, but
they have all been put on the back burner for a year and half while everything
at my house has gone completely crazy.. Things are different now, and I am
still trying to adjust. But, I look forward to seeing their faces and reading
their body language. Making friendships with effort that I will have to give.
Soon…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">And to sleep more. These 4:00 a.m.’s are killin’
me! I look forward to sleep. And letting things roll off my back.
Because, I will have all the time in the world! And concerning myself with
loving and raising my family and letting everything else find it’s way. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Because it always does</i>. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">There is nothing wrong with taking stock of your
life and changing it when it no longer makes you happy. And, that is what I
have done. I feel bad for even seeming like I am complaining, because I am
really not. Nursing school offered me an outlet, when nothing else did. The
odds were really against me in making it this far. I have formed friendships
that have forever changed my life. I have grown tremendously in the past year.
Like I said, life always has a way of finding itself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Daniel is still doing great. Since my last post,
here are a few things to catch you up on. At his one-year check-up, he had some
spots in his mouth that were of somewhat concern. He was referred on to a mouth
surgeon. The spots were biopsied, and everything was benign. So, that is good
news! We will continue to monitor the situation for a while as they could
eventually become cancerous. He has received 3 immnunoglobulin treatments in
Cape, and will receive 3 more before they recheck his immune status. We are
coming up on cold and flu season, so prayers for a healthy next 5 months! No
real news. Oh, so yes, there is big news! The prescription that was costing us
around $4,600 bucks a month- there is possibility that we can begin to receive
it through mail-order, and not have any costs out-of-pocket! Do you know how
much of a relief that would be? Patiently waiting…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">I really hoped to have a new picture of the girls
to share with you. But, I don’t. Tis the time of the year when we attempt to
create that oh-so-perfect Christmas card. The girls visited Ms. Sheena last
week at Esprit Jolie Photography. Sneak peaks to come. It is killing me. You
will not believe how grown up all 3 of them are- I promise!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Hitting publish now...I have an exam to study for!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Until next time…XOXO, Kristin</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-8002903334108001842012-08-19T18:11:00.001-07:002012-08-19T18:11:20.021-07:00Weekend Wrap-Up
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“ My mother had a good
deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 3;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mark Twain, chapters from my
autobiography<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saw this quote and immediately thought of Mia. I have no
idea what it is, but the kid is definitely at her terrible twos, and has been
for a while. The sad thing is that… One, her birthday isn’t until September 7<sup>th</sup>,
Two, she is so darn cute. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today, I am treading water. Classes begin tomorrow. I
transcribed my class calendar and clinical rotation schedule into my planner
and immediately realized that for the next 16 or so weeks, my life is pretty
much nursing. This afternoon, I cleaned, did every bit of dirty and “could be
dirty” laundry, and tried to get my mind in sync with conquering the next
several weeks. However, Mia had other plans. Like eating. Coloring on the walls
with a sharpie. Wanting to play. You know, have attention bestowed upon her.
The nerve, right?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How did I end up with 3 very noisy kids? When I am so noise
adverse? Is that just the way it works?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Moving on for a quick weekend re-cap.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Aren’t the things in life the ones that you have to work the
hardest for? The ones that challenge you, surprise you? That is what nursing
school has been for me. Not just a challenge, but also an outlet for me to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">be me,</i> move on, and it has placed some
of the greatest people in my life in which, I would have never, ever met. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Saturday, I received a letter in the mail from the Endowment
Trust of the college in which I attend, in which congratulated on me as the
recipient of an anonymous donation that would cover a huge amount of my tuition
for the Fall 2012 semester. I am continually amazed at the kindness and
generosity of the many people that have rallied around my family during the
times in which we most needed it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you to those of you who have supported me and an idea
that was once was a crazy idea. You all have helped me turn it into… a
beautiful idea. To the individual/ individuals that made my fall tuition a
little bit easier, I want to give you a huge Thank-You from the very bottom of
my heart. Never in a million years would I have ever thought someone would
think that much of me or believe in me! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We attended the 19<sup>th</sup> Blood and Bone Marrow
Celebration last night in St. Louis. Once we entered the ballroom in which it
was located, both of us kind of stopped in our foot tracks as we tried really
hard to find two empty seats. We were definitely newbies at this event.
Luckily, a really nice lady invited us to grab two seats at their table. The
venue was packed full of 900+ people! After dinner, the presentation quickly
got under way. The speakers were absolutely moving! It is so beautiful to see
people like Daniel, functioning so well. The most moving part of the
celebration was when Dr. DiPersio mentioned in closing remarks that he was
going to be raffling off 2 round-trip tickets to a member of the audience.
Then, he spoke of a woman from Memphis, TN, and preceded to bring her up on the
stage, spoke about her and then, out of nowhere, brought her donor into the
room, for her to meet for the very first time. All the way from Germany. For
the event, he learned to speak a very small amount of English- just enough to
say how happy he was to fulfill the dreams and future for that very woman.
There was not a dry eye in the room- promise. Lucky gal, she is. I yearn for
the day that we may one-day find out more about the remarkable gentleman that
saved Daniels’ life. It was a phenomenal event! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is never a moment that I don’t count each and every
single one of mine/ our blessings. It is events like this that remind you that
being able to spend a long and happy life with your family is a true treasure.
And unfortunately, for some, their lives are cut WAY too short. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It really just makes you realize the important things in
life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am closing with a remark from Dr. DiPersio’s speech last
night. Ashlynn spent many years watching Barney! Luckily, my other 2 children
did not take to the big purple guy like she did. However, Dr. DiPersio spoke about
a song from the show. Here are the lyrics:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> <i> </i></span><i>Everything’s
better with a friend like you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Everything’s
better with a friends like you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<i>Playing. Pretending. Whatever we
do.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<i>It's better with a friend like you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
XOXO Kristin<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-44834414943347299922012-08-05T19:45:00.000-07:002012-08-05T19:45:15.677-07:00One-Year: An Update<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">People often ask me- How do you
always have that “my glass is half-full attitude?” It has taken me awhile to
arrive at the right answer. And, the truth is… my glass isn’t always half full.
Sometimes it’s cracked a little, or maybe even shattered. But when it is that
way, I break out the super glue and glue it back together. It still may not be
perfect, but it’s always better than it was. Life really isn’t always perfect,
or ideal. Sometimes, its down right hard. But, I honestly believe that we get
thrown these little curve balls in life, that make us stronger. These little
curve balls… they do nothing but change us, mold us, make us into better,
stronger, and more beautiful versions of ourselves. That is life! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">This last week has reminded me so
much about how blessed our family really is. As I get older, I realize that
changes can be good, and I have learned to embrace changes… because changes
remind me how capable I am. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">I am capable of so much! If
anything, this past year has taught me so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">However, I still struggle with some
things. I have been struggling to be a friend is fully present, a parent who
gets on the floor and PLAYS. I struggle with finding the time to work out and
also to do things that I enjoy – you know, to be just BE me. And these things
are very important to me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">I often find myself overwhelmed by
what people need and also what I expected of myself. I have high
expectations, people!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">We’ve all been there, yes? It’s a topic
of conversation for women/ parents/ mothers all over the place. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">But some seem to have it figured
out better than others. who I yearn to be that woman who is always calm, put
together, and with it. The woman who gets to work out early in the morning, the
woman who always feeds her kids healthy meals, the woman who always has the dishes
done and the flowers watered. And she comes home skinnier than she left and to
a house that’s put together and to kids who are ready to see her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">As hard as I tried this summer… I
didn’t get that dang lucky. And, I am okay with it. I am okay with it, because
I know that I am capable of so much more than the things that I just listed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">These years go by so fast. As much
as being skinny, and the “perfect wife” sound like good descriptions, they
don’t work for me. Being the mom that made each day count… seems more fitting.
So, that is my goal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Am I boring you to death? Okay… on
to the good stuff. We spent last Monday in St. Louis for doctor’s appointments
galore. We just passed Daniel’s one-year anniversary of his bone marrow
transplant. Things look very different now than they did one year ago. Which,
is very much a good thing! So, this is what we know as of today (some tests are
still pending). Daniel’s dry eyes are no better, but no worse. He is still
cancer free! No signs of any leukemia!!! Yes, to that! Dr. DiPersio seems very
happy with how everything looks. Daniel had a bone density scan. The steroid to
control the GVHD can be very tough on your muscles and bones. His spine shows
mild osteoporosis and right now, there is nothing that we can do to improve it.
Maintenance is key.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His immune system is
still pretty weak. So, for the next several months, he will be receiving
antibodies via IV for 4 hours a setting, once per month. This is very routine
for someone like Daniel. No worries there! It would be nice to have him
healthier for the upcoming fall/ winter. We have also gotten the okay to
immunize Avery and Mia. Avery turns 5 in November and will need her
kindergarten immunizations. Mia has not had vaccines since she was 6 months
old. I am trying to figure out the best way to go about this, factoring in
school, which is making it tough. I would like to get done at the same time.
However, Daniel cannot be around them for 2 weeks. If anyone has any ideas on
what would be the best way to go about this, I am very open to them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">Other news: Through Be The Match
(the service that was used to find Daniel’s match), most recipients of a bone
marrow transplant can begin paperwork to establish contact with their donor.
Notice, I said most. Unfortunately, Daniel’s donor went through a “sister”
agency of Be The Match. The agency that he went through, does not allow contact
between donor/ recipient for 2 years, given that both parties agree to the
paperwork. However, we can send anonymous letters, cards, etc. to the donor,
and hopefully, he will respond by snail mail. While this may seem somewhat
disappointing, we are still very excited about the potential relationship that
we may have with this guy. Hopefully, I will be able to tell you all about it! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">August 18<sup>th</sup>, we head to
St. Louis for the bone marrow and blood cancer celebration hosted by Siteman
Cancer Center. We are very excited to be a part of such a wonderful facility.
If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, then you may have seen the exciting
things that are happening in regards to research- especially, with Daniel’s
physician. Again, we are very blessed to have such a wonderful team of
physician’s. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">We will wrap up our last week of
summer this week. Our summer is almost expired. Ashlynn starts school on
Friday. Enjoy your week!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #65474a; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia;">XOXO Kristin<o:p></o:p></span></div>kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-35333957062817962392012-07-21T13:06:00.000-07:002012-07-21T13:09:05.572-07:00Summer Vacation Part 2<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLE8WVbk75vyrSHf2ylmXMC6CZKPcqluZch4E_X-q8OX3wdWazHQvTRO6aNN5FgTpM_QbPXlMQsEI-HLZb9RDg8dabXwJ8hj4WgfDm6V6IlNAQGNoinJcUcav5kotvcrKDp1n574hdkg4/s1600/IMG_3022.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLE8WVbk75vyrSHf2ylmXMC6CZKPcqluZch4E_X-q8OX3wdWazHQvTRO6aNN5FgTpM_QbPXlMQsEI-HLZb9RDg8dabXwJ8hj4WgfDm6V6IlNAQGNoinJcUcav5kotvcrKDp1n574hdkg4/s200/IMG_3022.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I absolutely love where I live, but
lawdhavemercy do I love to get away! We did one of those impromptu trips this
past week. You know one of those that involves a text from another mother that
says something along the lines of “ We booked our hotel in Orange beach at
such-and- such place, during such-and-such time- y’all in?”, and well, YES, we
were in! We do what mothers do- we deliver! And, the beach, is one of my most
favorite places to visit. So, it wasn’t really that hard of a decision!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIR7zirz_azrHFI1YGCDKRJ6DTjAdJawRD3J4Hrc44DHWagkmipYkCK0HOMK0uI0FGdi6U7C8f6atbcDjd5f_ETPq3yHfOY4RV9kKZaLuuh6eXvTF167ea3v85esSU7oSW3XyKElMkLs4/s1600/IMG_2847.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIR7zirz_azrHFI1YGCDKRJ6DTjAdJawRD3J4Hrc44DHWagkmipYkCK0HOMK0uI0FGdi6U7C8f6atbcDjd5f_ETPq3yHfOY4RV9kKZaLuuh6eXvTF167ea3v85esSU7oSW3XyKElMkLs4/s320/IMG_2847.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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(<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Sisterly love- I am most certain that Avery had her dress on backwards)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGG6cVX8G0VvNNSvcoeY0HzJdx7HMqqSXXj3xHRXwEs4jYcRSRlkJryAy5GQMsmwYMMShtT6D-YhN8ZM9Eg6BDS1g_V41oCVVggjdAX3vuBEpRMkn_YptRJRZaHmr3a-MPQ8xVZXulfvY/s1600/IMG_2840.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGG6cVX8G0VvNNSvcoeY0HzJdx7HMqqSXXj3xHRXwEs4jYcRSRlkJryAy5GQMsmwYMMShtT6D-YhN8ZM9Eg6BDS1g_V41oCVVggjdAX3vuBEpRMkn_YptRJRZaHmr3a-MPQ8xVZXulfvY/s320/IMG_2840.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And Alabama? This trip? I feel guilty
saying things like "We needed this vacation", or, “He needed this
vacation”, knowing time away is most certainly, a luxury, but I'm still going
to say it. We/He… needed this vacation after the last year that our family has
endured. We took a very quiet rest this past week… and it was nice. It was
definitely one of those "Wow, this is really happening" moments.
Because last year, I would have never dreamed that we would have arrived in
this place, ever. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9-WhBoLxCdHcImKrqiA3pMGIsGUFLGzYbW44A8ot9pLS8m8NqMJ8-ge2awAr7lLt-9L6903xtmR7Kbko2fAhwOmDkd0-6k1Hv0e057UQK0kS2fYVW_g8rrGiGGA9so27TliRIjW7Y8as/s1600/IMG_2862.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9-WhBoLxCdHcImKrqiA3pMGIsGUFLGzYbW44A8ot9pLS8m8NqMJ8-ge2awAr7lLt-9L6903xtmR7Kbko2fAhwOmDkd0-6k1Hv0e057UQK0kS2fYVW_g8rrGiGGA9so27TliRIjW7Y8as/s200/IMG_2862.jpg" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Picture #2 of 2 with me in it)</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">People who love each other and talk about
being together more often--here we were, in the middle of summer, in the middle
of coast--together. And it was pure love!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzA9Nh9_UHg2LLyIyYhF9skXWcocZTUQUy-_Tt9jvxnNRyi7o-QfDknXRZrFSdTaPt4xZeeo5pTERTRO3MQ1w2rNs-nRWTiJv8oMV-11ZmhBGYFcEhyJb8aLUa5oIAKtjCSemRd6GISak/s1600/IMG_2977.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzA9Nh9_UHg2LLyIyYhF9skXWcocZTUQUy-_Tt9jvxnNRyi7o-QfDknXRZrFSdTaPt4xZeeo5pTERTRO3MQ1w2rNs-nRWTiJv8oMV-11ZmhBGYFcEhyJb8aLUa5oIAKtjCSemRd6GISak/s320/IMG_2977.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I can honestly say that I am more relaxed
than I've been in a long time, in complete sync with my family, and most importantly,
my own mind and spirit. I think that is pretty important for anyone… to aligned
with those things. I think this vacation delivered in the way that it was
supposed to!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6pEkr31mEiY8S6JxvKhVbpKD1Fby87pZaiz2Rh6c5NTXda-amJJyRe4K8_DNYH9vswoIH7U-Q30LEoI3nt9h_8VT9DwMwQ7VW0ABZir2JMpj6j-mp0BH7D1USFiGRJSA_YPoOFPt7jds/s1600/IMG_2768.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6pEkr31mEiY8S6JxvKhVbpKD1Fby87pZaiz2Rh6c5NTXda-amJJyRe4K8_DNYH9vswoIH7U-Q30LEoI3nt9h_8VT9DwMwQ7VW0ABZir2JMpj6j-mp0BH7D1USFiGRJSA_YPoOFPt7jds/s320/IMG_2768.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We arrived home last night..all relaxed
and so thankful for this time that was spent together!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBPn1u8fV6y6vKTJsF9TMFzh24lY7BvskVsRSy3OQ0iy2EacdKPhA2yCVyfQ1SwJLDa7MQnqtGY3viwI7HyjRaNNXo20zr-EBY1FeMkoyxri0c4JWdV3Gyb-GLd0HrA2AMmEvgFtqoOwY/s1600/IMG_3037.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBPn1u8fV6y6vKTJsF9TMFzh24lY7BvskVsRSy3OQ0iy2EacdKPhA2yCVyfQ1SwJLDa7MQnqtGY3viwI7HyjRaNNXo20zr-EBY1FeMkoyxri0c4JWdV3Gyb-GLd0HrA2AMmEvgFtqoOwY/s320/IMG_3037.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I've learned there are parts of me that
love quiet and calm and relaxed and slow, and there are parts of me that love
adrenaline, projects, busy and stimulated. When one part's up to bat, the other
one's just benched for a bit, getting ready for his turn. aI think that I have a great
team; because, we play well with each other. It is almost adrenaline, project's, busy, and stimulated's turn...<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">With that said…I am going to enjoy a
little bit more of summer laziness for the next few days. Monday… I start
checking items off my to-do-list. I thrive on lists, we all know. School is
just around the corner y’all! Ashlynn starts August 10<sup>th</sup>, and not
long after, I start back August 20<sup>th</sup>. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Please keep our family, and most
importantly, Daniel in your thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks. We head
back to St. Louis on Monday, July 30<sup>th</sup> for our one- year post-
transplant- check-up. Which, inevitably means a whole lot of testing, including
a bone marrow biopsy. While, there are no reasons to believe that the cancer is
back… it still must be done. One year, my friends! Another birthday of sorts to
celebrate! </span></span><o:p></o:p></div>kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-49594708762463147682012-07-04T07:19:00.000-07:002012-07-04T07:27:39.546-07:00The Big Three-Oh...<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><b><i>I am thirty.</i></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">and so
far… I am <i>happily</i> thirty. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Last
night, I took away my twenties and tucked them away, storing them in my mind…
all of the happiness and all of the sorrows. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Let me
tell you- 20 was easy to box up- me and twenty… we never got along that great
anyway- so that goodbye, was every bit easy. Twenty three… that one was tough.
Two very important things happened that year- things that would truly change my
life forever- giving birth to my first-born and marrying my best friend. I held
that one tight in my arms- I had a really hard time packing that one up. Packed
that life changing year one away very carefully! Maybe I can visit again
someday? Twenty eight… another tough one… thanking it for the events that
unfolded, but, glad to see it go. Twenty-eight and I went down with a fight.
Twenty nine- what a glorious year that was!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">But, once
all of the twenties were properly packed up, farewells were said, and stored
away appropriately, I was ready to adequately welcome the thirties. Although I
can’t see very far into the thirties yet, I am positive that there are many
good things to happen. I can already see the great beauty. I’m very sure that
with the beauty, there will also be sorrow. However, I can always thank the
twenties for giving me the appropriate coping skills to deal with the sorrow,
and reap the benefit from the new coping skills, that will be learned in the
thirties, right? I also see the enormous amount of growth, challenges,
experiences, and love that I will find in the thirties- and, I can’t wait!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">And how
does one write about such a milestone? I am not really sure, but I am going to
try, because I have put much thought into it. I can tell you this- while, you
cannot write your past, you can certainly write your present and your future.
And, that is what I am going to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">So, I am
going to fill you in on some things that the past thirty years have taught me: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I've learned<i>...</i></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">that you are the author of your own
happiness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I’ve
learned… that strength cannot not be bought nor borrowed. And, it most certainly
cannot be found overnight. Instead… it takes years, and I think that I have
finally found it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I've learned<i>...</i></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">that the best music, you'll never, ever
hear on the radio. You must seek it out in other places.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I've learned</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">...that
picking up everything and moving to Risco, MO on a whim can reap some of the
most beautiful, beautiful rewards. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I’ve
learned that there is good in every. Single. Person. You just have to look deep
sometimes!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I’ve
learned… that family is most certain the most important thing in my life.
Should your ship ever capsize… you never, ever let your family go down. Bottom
line is- you should never let family be taken granted for- and there is no way
that I would be “me” without mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I’ve
learned… that I love children very, very much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I ‘ve
learned… and witnessed the kind of love that has no words. That life-changing
kind of love. And I learned it through marriage and giving birth to three
beautiful little girls. This love has given me the ability to have
responsibilities, and confidence that I never had before. I have also learned
how to give my whole heart… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I've
learned</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">...that I believe
in God, and feel the presence of him in many events in my life. I also believe that
I have the liberty to explore who He is on my own, and that He encourages me
to. I feel him more in terms of love or judgment, instead of fear, like I used
to. I've also learned that He is oh-so-much bigger and more beautiful than the
books written about him. ...and that He can be found, most of the time, in the
most prominent places away from church. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I’ve
learned the value of good friendships. Although, I am not always the best
friend… I still value each and every one of my friendships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I’ve
learned… that accomplishing things that so many people never dreamed that you
would ever accomplish… is one of the best feelings in the world!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 9.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I've learned<i>...</i></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">that quality is always better than
quantity… and that goes for everything (jewelry, clothes, shoes…)!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 9.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I've learned</span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">...that
snail mail is so much more fun than email. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 9.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I’ve learned…
how to finally breathe again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 9.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I’ve
learned… true happiness, and for THAT… I am very thankful!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 9.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">...and to
think that all of this has been learned in thirty years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 9.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">...and
there's so much more to learn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 9.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">but for
now...it’s my thirtieth birthday, and the 4<sup>th</sup> of July!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">So…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Today, I am enjoying
the<i> it's-my-birthday </i>things and celebrating the 4<sup>th</sup> of July
appropriately! XOXO Kristin<o:p></o:p></span></div>kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-34974044586665468132012-06-17T14:12:00.002-07:002012-06-17T14:12:50.022-07:00For the Father of My Precious Girls...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Thoughts about Daniel:
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">I
sure wish that I could find the perfect words to describe what kind of a father
he is. But the truth is… I cant! He has such a tender heart for the three
little souls that he created. Words can not describe what it is like for me- to
witness the magical connection that he has with his girls!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">It
is really hard to write what I think means for him to be a father. Because
speaking about Daniel as a the title of father is almost a language of its own.
There is nothing like it. If you have never seen him with his girls- you
wouldn’t have the full picture. Daniel was extremely blessed with the daddy
gene. I know that deep down, he yearned for a little boy. However, there were
very different plans for him! Early on, I will never forget the fact that he instinctively
knew how to cradle a baby with his bare hands, how to calm a crying baby back
to sleep in the middle of the night, and until recently, nurture a feverish
child, BUT, nothing compares to his ability to heal his little girls’ broken
hearts. He has a way! I am truly a lucky gal, because he is every bit a part of
the girls lives as I am. It is teamwork.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">I
am pretty sure that the three souls that call him Daddy- know how special he
is!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">I
knew that Daniel was a pretty special person long before he became a daddy.
But, I am telling you… I witnessed a whole new kind of magic when we found out
that I was pregnant with Ashlynn. How, she wasn’t really in our plans yet, but
we were thrown a big ole’ curve ball in 2005- but, he was the one who’e eyes
filled with great big ole tears and was excited while saying “It will all be
fine”, knowing that he was in it for the long run, and that his heart would
soon stretch deeper and stronger in a short matter of time. From the first
ultrasound, to him spending hours fumbling through instructions while putting
the first crib together for his first baby girl which would eventually
peacefully sleep all three of his little girls. We all know that he isn’t the
most patient when it comes to that kind of stuff- but, its pure magic!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">I
am so thankful for the journey that we have stumbled upon together. Getting to
share it with him- well, I wouldn’t want it any other way! You definitely were
made to be a father and I am so glad that you are the father of my children
These girls will forever remember your legacy for loving them, molding them
into the young girls that they have become and women that one day, sooner than
later, they will become, and for always telling them how much you love them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Happy
Father’s Day Daniel! Thank you for being the best father any wife could ever
ask for. I know that you will continue to be an amazing father for many years
ahead. Most of all- <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you for
teaching me that life goes on! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Happy
Fathers Day to all of the Daddy’s out there. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">Some
one is turning 7 around here next week- more on that later!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #262626; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;">XOXO
Kristin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-75540720758486530002012-06-04T10:10:00.001-07:002012-06-04T10:10:26.335-07:00Playing Catch-up<span lang="">We left on a Friday- for 12 days of vacation bliss. Nothing but friends, family, babies and fun! Twelve days of hot, Florida sun, and 5 children!<br />
<br />
We laughed. We hugged, and kissed dirty baby feet. Ate food we don’t have in Missouri. Rocked it out in Orlando, and spent 3 days in Pensacola. My bet is that these cities were glad to see us leave!<br />
<br />
We walked around the theme parks and the beach and took pictures with our phones like tourists do. And so.<br />
<br />
We went swimming in the day and night- no mosquitoes in Florida!<br />
<br />
We left Tuesday and wandered home, and now back to reality.<br />
<br />
Which, just happens to be slightly better than when we left.<br />
<br />
Enjoy this video on my Facebook page of <i>some</i> of my favorite pictures. I only snapped about 400 while on vacation. I tried for 2 days to upload it here, but the file is extremely large. I hope you enjoy it if you get a chance to watch it.<br /> </span><br />
<span lang="">
Now that we have returned- I have a mountain of laundry- no joke. Each day, I fold, resent, cuss at the pile of laundry that never ends- because it never truly ends!<br />
<br />
I was reminded several times by my children that we didn't go on vacation last year as I quickly told them that they are very lucky to get to got on vacations like we do. It aslo took me back to where we were last year and flipping through photo albums from last year painted more of a picture (my kids love to look at them all of the time- do yours?), I quickly realize that my life really can be perfectly normal and a bit less than exciting these days. Remembering to celebrate life each and every day. I will also tell you what, it’s fun to look back and see what we were doing, where we were at, what I was thinking about, how the kids look- my, have things changed! <br />
<br />
Another beautiful thing happened this week. We participated in our first Relay for Life. My sister-in-law was team captain of a team this year. I cant really explain to you the thoughts that I had going into the event- and, I am not really sure what Daniel really thought either. You see, some things are better left unspoken. And, this was one of them. <br />
<br />
I was not sure how I felt about going to my first official <i>cancer</i> event. Honestly, guess a little sad that<i> </i>a<i> Country Strong team</i> even exists. But with that I am grateful for people and the community we have around us...but there is still a deep wound that screams inside me..."I do not want to be on<i> this</i> team".As I mentioned a few blogs back, I think I have come to place where my moments of sadness can exist right alongside my joy, thankfulness, and need to celebrate. Country Strong represents a team of survivors- and I am very thankful to be on that team!It represents the need to celebrate- and we did just that.<br />
<br />
Overall, Relay for Life was humbling. It was humbling to see people come together, and rally around our family , and the families of other survivors as well as those who have lost their battles. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.<br />
<br />
More than anything- it was a night to remember our story. How it continues to change our family forever. In that there was much pain and brokenness as it took me back to May 2011 and it also reminded me of that place in my heart- the place of joy and immense thankfulness. To all of those who were present, thank for rallying right alongside the American Cancer Society and us and fighting for a cure.<br />
<br />
The entire Malden High School track was lined with luminaries and different names written in either red or black. Again, I am thankful that Daniel’s luminaries were written in black (with the exception of one in red ink- but, we will pretend it was black). I also know that this night was one of intense sorrow and pain for those who have lost someone close to them from cancer (Daniel’s aunt lost her battle 14 years to the exact date of the event). My heartaches deeply for those individuals in that and reminds me to continue to fight towards living in a place of thankfulness. Even though, it is hard most days. Thankfulness for everyday and thankful for our story… although, I am in constant fear that there could be a "to be continued" somewhere in the chapters of our book. Our story hasn’t quite ended. However, knowing that the luminary with Daniel’s name on it...was about remembering where we have been, where we are going, and how if we choose...if we are able... and knowing things do get better with time. I want others fighting the battle to realize that!<br />
<br />
What Relay meant to me is this: in the end there is hope. Hope for a cure. Hope for a world without cancer, without pain, without loss, and hopefully- where relay for life won’t need to exist anymore. But until then, we will fight, raise money, and continue the research the necessary to find a cure.<br />
<br />
I hope next year, I am able to participate more. American Cancer Society has always held a very special place in my heart- a long time before Daniel ever was diagnosed. There is another video- on my Facebook page for your viewing pleasure- if you get the chance.<br />
<br />
Music from this video is by Train (listen to ‘Bruises’ and ‘We were made for this’- if you get the chance). I also am loving John Mayer’s new album- especially ‘Face to Call Home’. I’m listening to these albums non-stop.<br />
<br />
There are so many lyrics in this albums that make me say, YES TO THAT!.I love nothing more than to find something to listen to that makes you think or connect. Lately, music gets me through the day. When an album or song comes out that I can relate to, I hold on tight. It helps me through.<br />
<br />
These are a few of those albums.<br />
<br />
Good night! XOXO Kristin</span>kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-16662484546985377852012-05-16T15:33:00.000-07:002012-05-16T15:33:37.963-07:00On Reconnecting...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Last
year, there was a huge change in my dreams. Not<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>only the dreams that occur while I sleep, but the ones that are running
constantly through my mind. My non-stop mental picture of wants and hopes and
wishes and<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>life’s what if’s.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">While I
am still trying really hard to learn how to balance these new dreams, I have
fell short in other areas. And I think over the past year, I have done a great
job of pointing them all out. We all know I am not perfect, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">ALL five
of us are learning this new lifestyle, and how to go out without a plan. How to
just breathe it in and be together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
biggest lesson learned thus far- Holy Goodness, being a parent is hard. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">While we
are at it, let me admit a few more things: in the dark days we lived through
last year, I forgot Ashlynn’s lunch many days, and there have been many days
that I haven’t fixed Avery’s hair just right, and Mia, still takes a bottle at
night. Not quite sure what to do with that?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">And,
there have been many times that the girls’ have requested their Grandparents
(and sometimes anyone else, for that matter) over me multiple times. Can we say
last year sucked, yes?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I fear
that I might have done some major damage over the past year of my children’s
lives. And for these reasons, I wonder how much therapy they are going to
require later in life. I guess that this is normal for learning how to be a
parent? I sure hope so.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">This last
year has also taught me another valuable lesson- I don’t know how long I will
live here on this earth. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. There
could be a natural disaster or a death or any other road block for that matter.
I have come to reality in knowing that I can never know what is coming next.
And, even f I have a “plan”, it never works out just right!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, I
don’t want to waste one more second living in my fantasy of what if’s and what
should be’s. I simply want to explore what <i>is</i>. And this my friends, is
what is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">While we are
here and healthy and alive I will soak up everything family has to offer,
everything the sun, the clouds, and rainbows can teach me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">With this
reality, I am hoping that my old life and my new life will quit overlapping,
because it is emotionally and physically draining.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am trying hard
to teach my children that we need to be happy and move on. But, we also don’t
need to forget where we came from.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I realize
that I’m not the cutest or the most domesticated woman, most patient or even
CLOSE perfect woman or mom, but I am one who simply loves and deeply cares for
her children and her husband. And, I am okay with that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">And it
makes me happy that I am capable of always being better. Of screwing up and
getting back up. Being able to have do-overs in life. And always getting
better. Knowing that my husband supports me 100%.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">And so I
am trying to figure out how to turn the page corner and I have decided that if
I am going to start over, I was REALLY going to start over, beginning with May
16, 2012. First day of Summer break.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 13.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, this
is what 2012 Summer break means to me:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 13.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Friday,
I’m headed to Orlando, with my best friend and her 2 boys, and my mother.
Exploring Sea World, and Universal Studios for the very first time with my own
children. Going to the beach- my happy place. Ten days frolicking in the hot,
summer, beaches in Florida. Trying to make my kids lives more normal. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 13.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">After
that, I can push the kids on swings and play in water sprinklers until they
scream with delight. I can take them for walks down the dusty gravel road, and
eat ice cream cones until the sun goes down, and not discourage snuggling in
the mornings because I am short on time. Kiss dirty feet. I can get back to
making healthy dinners and read bed time stories. I can encourage manners and
affection. I can correct too much tv time, junk food, and socially unacceptable
behavior. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 13.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">The possibilities
are endless. I can’t wait.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">I can do
this- because I am their Mama. And, Daniel doesn’t want to be called Dada, but
you better believe that I don’t mind being called Mama. I am not sure what I
will do when the girls’ stop and I simply become Mom to them. Because, I know
that it won’t be very much longer!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Also
included in my plans this summer, I am going to love bigger. And apologize
more. And laugh harder. And talk to my friends more, instead of sending a text.
Sounds good, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">Those are
my plans… Officially- Hello Summer!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">XOXO
Kristin<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-53147996235776262742012-04-25T20:14:00.000-07:002012-04-25T20:14:05.625-07:00Chapter 2<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I’m so beyond ready for summer break. The past two weeks have
definitely proved it. I have realized that I'm quickly approaching the
"burn-out" feeling. With that being said- here is my latest
countdown: 1 more class, I more test, 1 final, 2 more clinical days and a few
other not-so- worry some days and I'm halfway through- given that I pass! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I've been having a lot of thoughts about how my life needs tweaking,
in a huge way. Reassessing to an extent. Evaluating what is most important to
me. I've lost sight on these things over the last few months. More evaluation
on the things that make me happy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">What really makes people happy? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Reassessing how I feel; what makes me truly happy; how I react to
situations; how I don't react to some situations... Just life in general.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Last year, after realizing that it was up to me to make it happen
for my family- and myself I became a fighter. I was not going to let cancer
take over my life, instead I decided to take charge. I learned that saying what
you feel and holding true to your beliefs, sometimes disappoint people, I've
said many things out loud, when keeping them inside, may have been the better
option. Lately, I have held my breath when I probably shouldn't have.I
feel inadequate. Not being there, when I should have been. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Not being able to say no, and clearly... My body is telling me that
it's time to reassess. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">This time last year, I promised myself that I would enjoy life more,
stress a little less, relax a little bit. I've been going non-stop since the
middle of August, being very productive, of course. I closed my eyes this
morning and thought to myself, if I could just open them and have everything
fall into place- that would be beautiful! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">But, what I realized, is that I'm falling short, very short. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I haven't went full-blown grocery shopping since Christmas break.
I'm pretty sure it's the end of April, right? I haven't cooked a home cooked
meal in at least 3 weeks. I questioned myself tonight- when did I become that
mom? So while I'm falling short with my husband, and children, my friendships
lack too. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">My friends, the ones who have waited for me to come around. The new
ones (they are pretty special too), but they never knew the "Kristin"
that totally checked out. I don't have time for them either. I am not sure if
its lack of organization, or what it is. Maybe, just lack of being able to give
anymore of myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">So, in 3 weeks... I'm taking a step back. Fine tuning myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Not living up to expectations- I'm not good with it. It just sucks
when you know you are capable of more. More tweaking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I'm in serious need of satisfaction and fulfillment. I know it's
vague- but, I'm trying not to disappoint myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I guess that coming up on our one year anniversary of cancer, hasn’t
helped the situation. Some days I think I'm moving forward, and some days I
feel like I'm backtracking. For the most, I think I have come to place
where my moments of sadness can exist right alongside my joy, thankfulness, and
need to celebrate. I know deep down, that our story is one of survival and of
life...a deeper and fuller life. Some days are still harder than others. Today
is one of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I have had the hardest time writing this because I am still not sure
how I feel. I am thankful that this week has not been full of tears, yet. So
far it has been much easier than I had anticipated . I am still at a point
where I have no explanations for my feelings. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I was at a doctors appointment last week and was discussing this
past year in review. And the nurse practitioner asked me if I needed
"something" to help me through all of this. Do I really look that
pitiful? I sure hope not. Most people have no clue about the daily struggles
that I have. I strongly feel that I handle them well, but then again, I'm not
on the outside looking in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">So, today, I can not seem to find the right words. I just feel like I
have not arrived anywhere really. Maybe that is normal, maybe it isn't. My
glass half-full attitude tells me that If I ever arrived ,I would stop growing
and changing and evolving into the woman I am still becoming. The aim is not
arrival. but the in between. which can be fuzzy and unclear and I am not the
best in this place. But, I'm positive, it's the most important. I'm trying to
adjust to the new challenges.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I apologize for my ramblings. I know that I really do have so much
to be thankful for! Reliving one year ago is good for me, even the pain and the
brokenness, because without those things, we wouldn't have truly recognized the
significance of the joy that was also experienced. XOXO Kristin <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-75766671798162808842012-04-06T19:20:00.000-07:002012-04-06T19:20:18.284-07:00As Real as it Gets...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal">A year to remember…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I know, it is a bit early, to reflect on actual 365 days since our lives forever changed on April 29, 2011. Looking at my upcoming month on my calendar, I figured that I better get it done. Mostly because I have been home this entire week on Easter break, which has given me, time to clear my head a little. Plus, we received our first invitation to a cancer survivor’s banquet in the mail today, and that got the emotions flowing. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A few weeks ago, I wrote about life and how it is so much different than the white picket fences that we dreamed about just a few short years ago. It always amazes me that I have so many followers and I thoroughly enjoy the responses that I get from my readers, even when they are negative ones. Truth be known… before I even began this blog, I was not really one to step out of my comfort zone. Most of my friends, have been my friends for 15 or so years, if that tells you anything. But those friends, are where I find comfort. I have always tried to see the good in all people. As a matter of fact, I was talking to my best friend Stephanie last week. We were talking about petty stuff that aggravated us in high school and after all of these years, you learn to move on, you grow up, and you forget about that stuff… because most of the time, it really wasn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> big of a deal. There is not one person that I can honestly say that I don’t like as a person. When Daniel got sick there were so many kind individuals who showed interest in us- whether it be the kind emails, gift baskets to make us smile, the phone calls, the visitors, the girls who took turns scheduling dinners to make sure that my children were nourished as they were cared for by family members and myself, when I didn’t have the strength or the mindset to even cook a decent meal, or the family members and friends who stepped right in to care for those babies, the monetary donations that are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">still </i>helping Daniel attain the monthly prescriptions that he has to have to stay healthy, and let’s not forget about all of the prayers from people that we knew and didn’t quite know. But most of all, the kindest gentleman of all… donor number 1107-0217-2. I realized through all of this- that there really are a whole lot of good people in this world, doing great things. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The first few weeks in May 2011 seem so blurry, looking back. However, I distinctly remember that I spent those weeks sorting through all of the daunting ideas, fears, dreams that were being crushed right before my very eyes, and mostly, trying to figure out how I was going to do this. You see, at 28<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>years of age(at that time), things like this are not supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to have to be making these decisions. All that I could think about was what my life was going to look like. I wanted to see 17 years into the picture. I know, 17- what is the significance- right? Well, Mia would be celebrating her high school graduation. Would I be there alone? What about Ashlynn, or Avery? Would I be celebrating prom and college acceptance letters by myself? Or, worse, were they going to have to experience walking down the aisle at their wedding with someone else other than their father, like I did? I was too terrified to even look into the future. But, somehow, my mind kept taking me back to those ideas. I would get so consumed in these thoughts, especially when I was by myself in the shower, or making that long drive to St. Louis by myself, or laying in “our” bed by myself so many lonely nights. I envisioned the thoughts of having to make final decisions or end-of-life care decisions. And I wondered if I could possibly keep going on. It was absolutely gut-wrenching most of the time. Looking back, my life was pretty dark, and I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT. When your head is a mess… so is everything else in your life. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I never once looked at any information pertaining to the diagnosis. Partly because I was too scared too, and the other reason is that there are so few people in the world that have the exact condition as Daniel, so there really isn’t much information pertaining to him. Most literature indicates that the prognosis for Daniel is very poor- and that is exactly how it is written in the books- I promise. I still keep in mind that his physician says that there is only about a 30% chance that the cancer will return. I see it like this… It’s better than the 100% pre-transplant. That is the “my glass is half-full” attitude. Anyway, last week, one of my instructors was talking to me about the current lesson as well as the last lesson that we will be covering in class this semester. She stated that we would be covering leukemia and that if at anytime I felt uncomfortable, that I could dismiss myself from the class. She went on to tell me that we would be talking about the grieving process with cancer patients. We had already covered that last semester, but it didn’t coincide with cancer. I thanked her for thinking about me tearfully, trying to get my crap together. I really do think that I am ready to understand the disease process, and I really think that it indicates the amount of healing that has occurred over the last year.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">When we got the news that Daniel’s “perfect match” had agreed to give his “healthy” blood to Daniel on a hot July day, I was ecstatic. As soon as we got the news, we also were informed of the transplant date. Don’t get me wrong, this is really exciting news. However, it is also became very realistic to me that there is the potential for major complications to happen- complications that could automatically result in death. So after a year or so of looking at Sheena Faught’s gorgeous photography, a called a scheduled an appointment to have family pictures done. I know that I had a stutter in my voice that day… and I am sure that she had no idea. But my intentions were that if anything were to happen, I wanted one family picture, just one… with all five of us in it. A beautiful picture that would hang on my wall. This was just one of my preparations going into the transplant.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You see, I had a colleague whose brother in-law had a stem cell transplant the same day one year prior to the date of Daniel’s scheduled transplant. They too… had hopes of a miracle. However, in February, he lost his fight with leukemia… and that scared me. Because, he was a young man in his thirties, with a wife and three children… Sound familiar?? You see, the 5<sup>th</sup>, 6<sup>th</sup> and 7<sup>th</sup> floors aren’t the most inspiring places to be. During our stay, I know of at least 3 deaths, and I am sure that there were more that I didn’t know about. They don’t exactly announce those types of situations.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">When I think back to the situation, I realize that these thoughts that I had, weren’t about Daniel, they were about me. I had so many questions about life. I questioned why this was happening, was it a coincidence? Was God doing this to me? Was it on purpose? I even questioned at some point whether God even existed. Because if he did, why would he do this to someone. Why would he let this happen to Me? A mother with 3 very young girls? Why? When I began to question God, I had to look deep into my beliefs. I am not a real religious type- but this question gave me the opportunity to ask myself if I believed and why I believed. During these weeks of begging God to make it all better… I did a lot of soul searching. I realized that God is big and he is highly accessible when you need him. I also realized that he is like any parent- he wants his children to find joy in life and lots of good in that thing called life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized, that yes, I do believe, and that my friends, is when things seemed easier for me. Sometimes, people will say that God wanted this for you, or that God had different plans for you. I am not saying that I don’t think that is true, because I firmly believe that he trusted Daniel with cancer. I came across something a while back online about a man named Jon Piper, a man who had prostate cancer. It was called <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Don’t waste your cancer”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that, has given me drive. To not waste it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I soon decided that it was time to move on. I accepted the challenge that was put before me. I know that there where many folks who underestimated my strengths, and that was what determined me to do better, to be better, and while I had no idea how I was going to do it at the time, I knew that failure wasn’t an option. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Fast forward to today- the present. My white picket fence that I talked about- yeah, it’s definitely not white. However, it hasn’t been white for a very long time. I like to say that it’s more like neon orange, with some neon green and pink speckles. However, life is good, very good. Daniel is doing phenomenal- seriously. His own doctor can’t even believe what he is seeing! He is back to work, which makes a world of a difference. He looks healthy. Unbelievable. Life is very different than it was a year ago. I was at the pharmacy getting some of Daniel’s prescriptions filled, and was told that Daniel has the highest monthly bill. In fact, they have never seen such a site. The power of medicine is incredible, but the costs are ridiculous. There are so many day-to-day things that we take for granted. Such as immunizations. Mia is behind on her immunizations, because she would put Daniel at a high risk of getting sick. Eventually, the kid is going to have to get the vaccines… so, this is something that we will have to figure out. Ideally, she would not be able to be around him for 30 days. Of course, this just doesn’t apply to Mia, it applies to Ashlynn and Avery as well. We will figure it out. This is still a learning process. Daniel is doing exactly what he has always done… he is the rock that holds my whole house together, never once regretting anything that has happened or getting angry about the circumstances. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So this year has been an evolution of beauty and strength, but it has shaped me into the person that I am today. I firmly believe that I am much wiser, and definitely more confident than I was a year ago. The incredible pain that I have endured over the past year, also brought many triumphs. I have learned that many people do not ever get to experience the pain that I have felt. Not that I would ever wish cancer on anyone, because I wouldn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During my soul- searching, I found out a whole lot of ugly things about myself. Some things that I wish that I never learned. But cancer has given me strength that I would have never had. I have found that strength and much respect for life, so much sooner than most people my age. It’s kind of like I was offered a short-cut in life. I now, appreciate life so much more. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As far as the blog… it has offered my a place to gather my thoughts. It has been the best therapy for me and I appreciate all of the loyal followers. A lot of times, I am burning the midnight oil just to hit the publish button, but it has been every bit worth it. And, thank you from the very bottom of my heart for following me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Enjoy your Easter weekend. XOXO Kristin<o:p></o:p></div><!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-59578121336934315242012-03-24T20:35:00.000-07:002012-03-24T20:35:45.125-07:00Learning How to be A Friend...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">There is something to say about good friends. Good friends are hard to come by. There is something to be said for friendships of 15-16 years. Isn’t there? Who knew that this many years down the road, I would need these girls more than anything, because my world had just been rocked. When Daniel was sick, I wrote a post about some of my very best friends who decided to “show up” when I needed them the most. These girls, I don’t get the privilege of seeing very much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I admit that I have a bit of “I wish that I could, or would of” kind of guilt when it comes to these gals. The guilt of not living up to my expectations about loving and recognizing my friends like I should have or could have. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">But the truth is, since I moved away from my hometown, got married in 2005, and abruptly started my family, life got kind of crazy. Time escaped from me as I became consumed about kids and family. Added in there is the stress of jobs, and bills, Cancer, Nursing school, etc. Somewhere along the line, you have to cut something out, and for me… sadly, it was time with my friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">Friends are much like a marriage. When you are a true friend… you are there for them in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. Last year, when it seemed like my world was absolutely falling apart, these girls showed up. And, vowed that everything was going to be okay. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s hard to believe that it was almost a year ago that we last got together, at the cancer center on the 3<sup>rd</sup> floor. Too long. But, of the gazillion things that people said, or wrote, the one thing that I remember the most from those horrid days, were the sweet tones of these gals voices as they sat next to me, holding me, and telling me that everything was going to be okay ad that no matter what, they were there for me. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">This is what I learned that day. </span><span style="color: #65474a; font-family: "Times New Roman";">In life, you show up. For yourself. For others. When someone is talking to you – listen to him or her. When someone needs you, respond. My friends, have taught me how to be a friend. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">You know that feeling when a friend calls you and she’s crying and needs you. There is a level of trust and loyalty in a friendship that doesn’t reside in any other relationships, including marriages. Women seek to relate to each other. We feel safe and free and challenged to be real when we realize others share moments like ours. too. Which leads me into today.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #65474a; font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today, I had to show up. It was my turn to repay the favor. It is so heartbreaking to see your friends hurt or suffering. My friend has suffered more unfortunate circumstances than any person, should ever have too. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #65474a; font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #65474a; font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> I know firsthand the importance of purely “showing up”.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">As horrible as the circumstance were, it was incredible. We spent our time talking, eating, shopping, doing what girls do best. Being so intentional with one another knowing our time was very limited, YET SO IMPORTANT. We shared life. How life is so very different than the picket fences that we dreamed about just a few short years ago. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">There is something so precious about being known by your friends. The honesty and the vulnerability to share what is hard, ugly, bad and sometimes even embarrassing. But along with sharing THAT stuff, there is also the opportunity to share joy. Today, we celebrated life. I know how much I cherish being known. The history with these special girls. Good friends let you be you. Just you. Through all of the good and the bad, good friends, they love you for all of that. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">So when months go by in between phone calls or emails stop for while. we know we are all in this together, we pick up where we left off. For good a friend…that is just what you do. For my good friends, I love you and cherish you.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">Even though our time was short, our time was sweet and necessary. I know it was for me. Thank you for being my friends and loving me the way that you do.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: "Times New Roman";">It is hard to maintain these important relationships. Time gets away from you and life happens. It is absolutely imperative to make the time. Make it happen. We may not always do it right and we will fail. I firmly believe our hearts were made for friendships that last. I am beyond grateful for the few very special friendships in my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 20.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="color: #65474a; font-family: "Times New Roman";">When your friend is disconnected and you FEEL it. Don’t ignore it. Show up. Be there. Showing up. Seems like a little thing, but it isn’t. It’s huge. I am serious. Tell your friends that you love them.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #65474a; font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thank you, Lacey and Autumn... and Julie. I love you. There is something to be said for being friends for almost 16 years. There’s a lot to be said for it, actually.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #65474a; font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #65474a; font-family: 'Times New Roman';">XOXO Kristin</span></div><!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-55697576584046702722012-03-17T11:50:00.000-07:002012-03-17T11:50:59.932-07:00Knocking the Cobwebs Off...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Suppose</span></i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> I told you that I sat across from Ashlynn's teacher this week at parent teacher conferences and was told that she is pretty much, a fantastic child. She is reading well above the 1st grade level, and pretty much has it going on, and wants to help anyone and everyone. Of course, we always have known that she is something truly special. But it is a constant state of surreal with Ashlynn. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Daniel and I were talking last night with some dear friends about how we wanted so badly for that child to get some hair when she was a baby- she was nearly 3 before I could even put a real hair-bow in her head. Yesterday, after many months of begging, she got a perm. Holy cow. Where has the time gone? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Suppose</span></i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> I told you that SHE makes me very proud!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Suppose</span></i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> I told you that Avery needs speech therapy badly. She was screened and it was definitely confirmed. We have known it for a while, just hoped that it might correct itself. She is boy-crazy (high school boys, I might add), wants blue highlights in her hair and has proclaimed that she wants her belly- button pierced. She is only 4. You should see this girl dance. Are we doing something wrong here? I wonder daily what her teenage years will endure- scary huh?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Suppose</span></i><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"> I told you that Mia loves crackers and m&m's, and eats them so much that you could consider it her own personal food group. She is stubborn and independent! Daniel says that she acts like me through and through! We took her to the pediatrician this week because she is 18 months old and still isn't talking. She mumbles words, but says nothing. Most people say "well her sisters do the talking for her, don't worry". The pediatrician told us that she is definitely, at least 50% delayed with her speech. We learned that a 9- month old should communicate better than she does She is currently having a few tests run to rule out any medical conditions that could be effecting her speech. "considering what your life has been like this past year...", is what the pediatrician told us. I'm not sure if that comment was supposed to make the situation better. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Even though they make me sweat at times... Parenthood is so worth it!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">What I am getting at, is that considering the "hell- year" that we have endured, these developmental things seem so petty. Last year, I would have been devastated and afraid to learn these things about my children. It's funny because I tell people to not borrow trouble frequently. Yet, I tend to do it myself. But I have learned to do it in moderation. You can choose to live or be afraid. And I choose to live. Although I would be lying if I told you that I am not afraid. I do live in some fear of the future.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">We are not granted the life that we imagined for ourselves. I'm not trying to instill fear in you. I am just trying to encourage you to LIVE your life. Take nothing for granted. I was given the chance to see just how quickly life can change. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Change, has thrown us a big ole' learning curve. There have been a lot of tears, a lot of questioning, a lot of self- doubt, and a whole lot of begging God to make it better. We are learning a new way of life that neither one of us thought that we would ever have to learn. This process has given us so much more than the sum of its parts. We are rolling with it with the intentions of growth- physically and mentally. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">With change, I realized something a few weeks ago- I’m completely scatterbrained. This self-realization was confirmed this week. I'm a normal person. I make mistakes- many of them, daily. I don't have it all together. My house is chaotic, which makes things even harder. I have been on spring break this week. Well, if that's what you want to call it. I've spent all but 2 days studying. I sure hope the payoff is worth all of the sacrifices that I am making. It's a daily struggle for me. This semester has required a whole lot more studying which has made me miss out on my children's daily life and I live in a constant reminder that I fell like I am really not adequately enough of a mom right now. I'm their mom and I want to be enough. It sucks when you figure out that you're not.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I also realize that this semester is halfway over, which means 8 more weeks of class! Summer will soon be here and plans of fun are already scheduled. I plan on reacquainting with my children ASAP. This summer will be very rewarding. I'm attempting Sea World with great company and that itself- is exciting! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">I have waited to update you guys on Daniel because he had an appointment in St. Louis on Wednesday and I didn't want to jinx a thing. His white cell counts were elevated a little. Don't be scared. He has a bit of a cold that most likely is the culprit as well as a reoccurring abscess. Antibiotics were started, and in 2 weeks, if the cold isn't better or it gets worse, the nurse practitioner wants to scan his sinus cavities for a fungal infection. Fungal infections and influenza are the utmost risk for Daniel. Remember, he has no immune system. He will also visit with the colon/rectal physicians to evaluate the abscess since it is reoccurring. The downfall of this is that early on we were told that if this happened, surgery would be the next option. The nurse practitioner mentioned that he is not the best candidate for a surgical procedure. Hopefully, The issue has potential to be resolved in another way besides surgery. His platelets have continued to improve. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">In the midst of it all, I was reassured that he is doing extremely well for his circumstances- and that makes things somewhat easier.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica; mso-bidi-font-family: Helvetica;">Even though my blogs seem more spaced out... I hope that you still enjoy reading them and I thank each and every one of my loyal readers for hanging in. XOXO Kristin <o:p></o:p></span></div><!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-9204619303537961252012-02-20T13:18:00.000-08:002012-02-20T13:18:46.795-08:00Because it's Been Awhile...<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I do a whole lot of reflecting- on life itself while I am driving. On my drive home today, I thought back to last year, and where I was at. Planning my New York trip… worrying about whether or not my job was in the Missouri budget…Looking back- to the times that life wasn’t really that hard. Or, so it seemed at the time. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">And then, I look back to the real hard parts… even though it is painful at times. I like remembering where my heart was and of course, where it is now. It provides so much insight and encouragement. I repeatedly say this- Cancer has taught me so much about myself. I think about some of the arguments that Daniel and I would get into and how I might say things that I would never dream of saying to anyone else. Hurtful things. Why is it that we often hurt the ones that we love the most? I have realized that the subtle tone or the sharp and passive words that I have used in the past were incredibly hurtful. I would have never spoken to Daniel like that when we first dated. So, why did I do it then, after 5 years of marriage? So after 5 years, 3 children later, did I get too comfortable? Was it too easy? I’m not sure. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I guess that it is a comfort thing. You tend to get too comfortable. I learned through the whole cancer process that we often lose sight of what we are about. In my case it was how to love one another. I am talking about on a daily basis. We came really close to losing each other… as hard as it is to admit. Because of cancer… I have learned that I will not let myself get that comfortable again. EVER. I will only have one husband. This is it. My one and only chance to truly love. When I say truly love- I mean deep, hard and unselfishly love. Why would I waste that chance?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I have never wanted pity or to feel sorry for myself or say..."look at me, my husband had cancer." I hope that has been clear through our story. But, I know one thing…God is good. He did not promise me a husband or Ashlynn, Avery and Mia, or lots of money (which I don’t have), or a whole lot of nice stuff, or that I would always be healthy and not experience pain. Instead, He said He would love me and never leave me. Once I realized that, things seemed to look up. I may not think that and feel that all the time but I know in my heart that it’s true. He allowed cancer to Daniel, at 29 years old, married, and with three very young children. In the midst of cancer He carried us through with a <u>perfect</u> genetically matched donor, family, friends, strangers, meals, babysitters, money, a cleaning lady, a house, cards, gift baskets that put smiles on our faces, emails, texts, and a whole bunch of people praying. He never left us. Not even for a second. He trusted Daniel with cancer. He took care of us! I often think that our story is not that unique or special. People get cancer all of the time. People live and some people die. I often find myself feeling guilty that our story of cancer was maybe not as tough as other people's.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: 'Times New Roman';">While Daniel was in the hospital, I met the mother of a sweet young girl who had a stem-cell transplant about the same time as Daniel was diagnosed. Her mother and I shared our stories, and talked about our fears. Since her diagnosis, her cancer has come back twice and she has really never been out of the hospital. Currently, she is fighting a horrible infection and is becoming increasingly frustrated in her fight with this horrible disease. I constantly think about her and the other people like Daniel. How Daniel is so incredibly healthy compared to most people like him.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Daniel thinks that I am crazy for feeling a bit guilty. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #535353; font-family: 'Times New Roman';">The moral of this blog is that we have changed. Forever we are changed. I would not trade that for the world. While my heart seems new, I am still INCREDIBLY broken. Daniel isn’t cured… in fact he is far from it. But, cancer did something big to me, and I am very proud of that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">I know that it has been entirely too long since my last blog, and excuses are not something that I tend to make. I promised myself that when I first began blogging, that I would only do it if I “felt” it. My blogs need to have meaning to them. I also contribute nursing school to the lack of blogs. It was as if I lost my blog edge these last few weeks. The good news is that there might be some light at the end of that tunnel- I only have two more weeks left of one of my classes. I am hoping that I will be able to catch a breath of fresh air at that point.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">News of Daniel</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">: Since I last wrote, Daniel had an excellent report from his bone marrow biopsy. The next scheduled biopsy will take place in August. The dryness of his eyes has made him extremely miserable. He had tear duct plugs placed in his eyes today- we are hoping for some relief from those. He also has GVHD again. Do you remember that horrid rash that he had all over his back and torso? Yeah, it has made a comeback. Not horrible yet. As with before, GVHD is not always a bad thing, necessarily. GVHD in small forms is a good thing. It means that the transplant is working. They increased the steroid dosage for a week- with hopes that it will be controlled. Also, his central line was removed today- that is a HUGE thing! He is slowly, becoming more “normal” It is exciting folks! <o:p></o:p></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Please continue to keep Daniel in your prayers… he still has an incredible journey before him. XOXO Kristin<o:p></o:p></span></div>kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-55862656604880369482012-01-31T19:43:00.003-08:002012-01-31T19:47:37.016-08:00A Reflection...<div class="MsoNormal">“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding on life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="margin-left: .75in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">-<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span>Elizabeth Kubler- Ross<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Boy, I am full of quotes these days. My nursing frineds might recognize the author. However, I think that this quote is absolutely beautiful! It is some good stuff!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Defeat, struggle, loss…. I think of April 2011, Daniel, Ashlynn, Avery, and Mia. I think of our entire family, and I think of friends. To me, this all relates to Cancer. I reflect back to May 1<sup>st</sup> 2011- how scary the world seemed to me, the unknown world of cancer. It is a spot in my life that I truly never want to go back to- ever.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I continue to look at this quote… and the next thing that pops into my mind is the word struggle. I am very aware of the fact that we all struggle. We all have pain. Sometimes, we are able to experience pain with the people we love, and sometimes, well, we have to do it alone. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So, that got me to thinking.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Am I really that compassionate?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Am I gentle?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">And most importantly, do I know how to love deeply?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Since I began nursing school, I have learned that in order to be a successful nurse, you must be able to do all of the above mentioned things. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Reflection… another task that we fellow nursing students do regularly. It is so good to be able to reflect from time to time. It is good for the soul- try it! To mentally allow yourself to “go there”. To look into your heart. To question yourself. How you care for others. How you treat others. Who you are. Where you are going. Are you meeting your goals. What has made you. Anything about your present self- YOU!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Maybe you are hurting. Maybe you aren’t. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It is so easy to get engulfed in your own life. We are all so “busy”. Busy this, busy that. But, not matter how busy we are- we have to take care of ourselves. We have to make time for those who are most important in our life.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have learned throughout this whole process… that I wear many shoes in our family. And, although I do, I am only one person and one person can only do so much. I know that I have said this many times… I fail at many things, on a daily basis. I have learned that I can’t be all things to all people. You wouldn’t want me to be- I promise. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">So here it is. I loathe cancer. I really dislike cancer. I wish that I did not have to “deal” with cancer. And, I used to say that I hate cancer. But, the more that I think about it, the more my opinions change. Cancer changed me. It changed my family. What has come of cancer? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Beautiful people. New friendships. Because of grief and much sorrow, changed people. I have changed. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I sometimes wish that things were “normal” for us, for Daniel, for me. They aren’t. I am not sure that they ever will be. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But who we are… who we are in our gut... Beautiful people do not just happen, my friends. I believe that the pain that we have experienced with cancer, has brought us more joy and beauty than anything in the world. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Moving on… <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Daniel had a full day of appointments today.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He has been experiencing really dry eyes lately. He met with his eye doctor this morning. They inserted temporary tear duct plugs into his eyes, with the hope that will help. If it does, then he will get permanent one placed in a few weeks. This has become pretty bothersome to him. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He met with his Nurse Practitioner. She lowered his steroid down to 10 mg. daily. He will probably stay at this level for a pretty long time. He was at 80- post transplant. Everything looks really good. He had a bone marrow biopsy today. Results should be in by Monday. Prayers for a cancer-free report would be appreciated. All signs seem to point towards it being a good report. However, prayers are always helpful. If everything comes back good, he will be getting his central line removed. This is a HUGE step! It too… is a little annoying for him. It has to be covered every time he takes a shower, he can’t take baths… it just gets in the way. Another good thing… he will not have to have another bone marrow biopsy for 6 months, unless they seem to think that there may be something going on. We wont think about that- though. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">May you all have a blessed week! XOXO Kristin<o:p></o:p></div>kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1212713485329015606.post-61813813947911117182012-01-21T19:12:00.000-08:002012-01-21T19:12:56.126-08:00A Part of the Plan<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>JA</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“If you want something you’ve never had before, you’ve got to do something you’ve never done before.”<o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Diana Reed<o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I saw this quote, somewhere within the last few days, and I decided to hold on to it. Thinking that I may need it for something. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It was back to regular scheduled programming this week as I packed up my bags, headed out the door on Tuesday, and never looked back. In all honesty- that is how I truly feel. What a whirlwind of a week. I sometimes joke about wanting to run away with the circus. There were days this week, that it really seemed like a grand opportunity- and there was no joking involved, this time. I know that you have those days too. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">With my first semester back at school, I fealt like I was at a really weird place in my life. I wasn’t sure if I was fixing to go off the deep- end, or if I was fixing to truly find joy, for one of the first times in my life.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Joy it was. It had to be.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I see so many things that I have never seen about myself. I have met a few friends- that I promise you- will be lifetime friends. These girls- I met when I was probably, at my worst. The best thing- they stuck by my side- offered me feedback that I truly needed, and have stuck by my side from the very first day. Looking back, I was stuck, afraid, and unsure. I am pretty sure that they are responsible for helping me survive- these girls have helped me learn to breathe again. On a side note, Janette, if you want to run away with the circus... I would definitely go with you!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Since school started, I have begun to learn to have a more fulfilling, meaningful life and marriage. It becomes very hard at times. But, this is what I needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can tell you that I am truly present in the days of my life and my children’s lives. I guess, through all of this (Daniel’s diagnosis), I have learned things about myself- that have hurt me even more. I constantly, am working on those things. Some of those things- hurrying all of the time… from one thing to the next, being divided between work and home life. Changes…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am becoming better at multi-tasking. - Not hurrying from one thing to the next- just multi-tasking. I have learned that there is something’s- that well; you just need to let go. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But the best lesson of all: I have learned that I have many flaws, and I am not afraid to tell you about them. Amongst those flaws, I know that no matter how bad I mess up- I always have a second chance. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So what is my point? Here it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Despite it all, life really is good, and God is good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although my life may seem that is constantly under construction for the time being, I am finally seeing the results of his craftsmanship, his work. And, while the final work may not be clear for anyone that passes by, we can see it, and that is all that matters. It is beautiful for us and the 5 members of our family. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What kind of life do you want? How are you going to get it?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Daniel update: Hopefully, the virus is finally exiting Daniel’s system. His symptoms are scarce at this point. Lab work this week revealed that his platelets are raising some, liver tests still on the decrease and his hemoglobin is improving. At his last doctor’s appointment, we learned that it is very normal for some of his levels to never be “normal” and it is perfectly fine. That eases things, a little. He will continue to have weekly lab appointments. The next doctor’s appointment is at the end of the month- it will also be bone marrow biopsy time. So, as you know… it becomes quite stressful. No real news… Daniel has begun to get out with his friends a bit- and that is wonderful. You can definitely tell a difference in his spirits and that makes me very happy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Enjoy the rest of your weekend! XOXO Kristin<o:p></o:p></div><!--EndFragment-->kristin presleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09639356009350900372noreply@blogger.com0