Learning How to be A Friend...

There is something to say about good friends. Good friends are hard to come by. There is something to be said for friendships of 15-16 years. Isn’t there? Who knew that this many years down the road, I would need these girls more than anything, because my world had just been rocked. When Daniel was sick, I wrote a post about some of my very best friends who decided to “show up” when I needed them the most. These girls, I don’t get the privilege of seeing very much.  I admit that I have a bit of “I wish that I could, or would of” kind of guilt when it comes to these gals. The guilt of not living up to my expectations about loving and recognizing my friends like I should have or could have.

But the truth is, since I moved away from my hometown, got married in 2005, and abruptly started my family, life got kind of crazy. Time escaped from me as I became consumed about kids and family. Added in there is the stress of jobs, and bills, Cancer, Nursing school, etc. Somewhere along the line, you have to cut something out, and for me… sadly, it was time with my friends.

Friends are much like a marriage. When you are a true friend… you are there for them in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. Last year, when it seemed like my world was absolutely falling apart, these girls showed up. And, vowed that everything was going to be okay.

It’s hard to believe that it was almost a year ago that we last got together, at the cancer center on the 3^rd floor. Too long. But, of the gazillion things that people said, or wrote, the one thing that I remember the most from those horrid days, were the sweet tones of these gals voices as they sat next to me, holding me, and telling me that everything was going to be okay ad that no matter what, they were there for me.

This is what I learned that day. In life, you show up. For yourself. For others. When someone is talking to you – listen to him or her. When someone needs you, respond. My friends, have taught me how to be a friend.

You know that feeling when a friend calls you and she’s crying and needs you. There is a level of trust and loyalty in a friendship that doesn’t reside in any other relationships, including marriages. Women seek to relate to each other. We feel safe and free and challenged to be real when we realize others share moments like ours. too. Which leads me into today.

Today, I had to show up. It was my turn to repay the favor. It is so heartbreaking to see your friends hurt or  suffering. My friend has suffered more unfortunate circumstances than any person, should ever have too.   

 I know firsthand the importance of purely “showing up”.

As horrible as the circumstance were, it was incredible. We spent our time talking, eating, shopping, doing what girls do best. Being so intentional with one another knowing our time was  very limited, YET SO IMPORTANT. We shared life. How life is so very different than the picket fences that we dreamed about just a few short years ago.

There is something so precious about being known by your friends. The honesty and the vulnerability to share what is hard, ugly, bad and sometimes even embarrassing. But along with sharing THAT stuff, there is also the opportunity to share joy. Today, we celebrated life. I know how much I cherish being known. The history with these special girls. Good friends let you be you. Just you. Through all of the good and the bad, good friends, they love you for all of that.

So when months go by in between phone calls or emails stop for while. we know we are all in this together, we pick up where we left off. For good a friend…that is just what you do. For my good friends, I love you and cherish you.

Even though our time was short, our time was sweet and necessary. I know it was for me. Thank you for being my friends and loving me the way that you do.

It is hard to maintain these important relationships. Time gets away from you and life happens. It is absolutely imperative to make the time. Make it happen. We may not always do it right and we will fail. I firmly believe our hearts were made for friendships that last. I am beyond grateful for the few very special friendships in my life.

When your friend is disconnected and you FEEL it. Don’t ignore it. Show up. Be there. Showing up. Seems like a little thing, but it isn’t. It’s huge. I am serious. Tell your friends that you love them.

Thank you, Lacey and Autumn... and Julie. I love you. There is something to be said for being friends for almost 16 years. There’s a lot to be said for it, actually.

XOXO Kristin