“You
either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story
& hustle for your worthiness”.
Doesn’t that ring true for each and every one of
us?
Which brings up a good point. I have lacked in
the whole blog business. With Facebook, texting and blogging added with and
everything else we do, we tend to lose the real connections with the ones we
love the most- hence the kiddos, husband, friends… you name it. It’s like the
virtual world is more important that those right in front of you, which is
absolutely absurd when you think about it. I am probably the guiltiest of all!
It all seems to be easier, and less time consuming- or so it seems. Most of the
time, my phone is on silent when I am at home- mainly because noises unnerve
me. I know weird huh! But the reason that I want to really believe to be true…-
the people I love are right in front of me and I really don’t care who else is
texting me or calling (not that I don’t love my friends and family), and I am
not checking on dings and rings … but I am studying, reading, or cooking dinner
or running (which I have not done since this horrid semester began) or
snuggling on the sofa or learning how to play or talking –like really talking –
to my family. Honestly, I think it would be really nice to be able to let go of
Facebook- for good (especially now that it is election season), but it just
isn’t possible. Too many old friends, new friends and long distance family to
keep in touch with. However, when I shut it all off…I feel better, more grounded
and content. And how crazy that it takes hiding my phone or leaving it on
silent, before the outside world and all it’s demands cannot reach me.
I also thought about giving up blogging. My posts
are so few and far between each one of them. So when I really think about
stopping, I think about the real reason that I began it in the first place. I
wanted: one- for all those interested to know the real story, that often included dreaded words flung together in
nonsense sentences, that I never dreamed would ever come out of my mouth. But I
wanted YOU to know the truth, as ugly as it was! Second, I wanted the girls’ to
have a story book about their lives- our lives- uncensored. Because I knew that
oneday, when they were old enough to understand the curve balls that were
thrown at our family, they would get the most accurate answers. We seem to
forget things. Some by chance, some by choice. Anyway, I often begin posts, on
my phone, then I delete them. But somewhere down the road, I find myself
wanting to tell our story, any story, or thoughts… and then I decide to share.
And today, I am not deleting it.
Do you want to hear something exciting? I
registered for my final- yes I said FINAL semester of classes on Monday. I
yearn for May 2013! This is such an exciting thing- for myself and my
classmates! The statistics of making it to graduation in nursing school, are
pretty slim. We began with a class of 29. Our class lost 9 folks last year!
But, we gained 3 very deserving ladies who add so much character to our class.
I cannot wait to finally regain control over my
life.
It’s the little things. For instance… I have the
incredible fortune of having the best girlfriends a person could ask for, but
they have all been put on the back burner for a year and half while everything
at my house has gone completely crazy.. Things are different now, and I am
still trying to adjust. But, I look forward to seeing their faces and reading
their body language. Making friendships with effort that I will have to give.
Soon…
And to sleep more. These 4:00 a.m.’s are killin’
me! I look forward to sleep. And letting things roll off my back.
Because, I will have all the time in the world! And concerning myself with
loving and raising my family and letting everything else find it’s way. Because it always does.
There is nothing wrong with taking stock of your
life and changing it when it no longer makes you happy. And, that is what I
have done. I feel bad for even seeming like I am complaining, because I am
really not. Nursing school offered me an outlet, when nothing else did. The
odds were really against me in making it this far. I have formed friendships
that have forever changed my life. I have grown tremendously in the past year.
Like I said, life always has a way of finding itself.
Daniel is still doing great. Since my last post,
here are a few things to catch you up on. At his one-year check-up, he had some
spots in his mouth that were of somewhat concern. He was referred on to a mouth
surgeon. The spots were biopsied, and everything was benign. So, that is good
news! We will continue to monitor the situation for a while as they could
eventually become cancerous. He has received 3 immnunoglobulin treatments in
Cape, and will receive 3 more before they recheck his immune status. We are
coming up on cold and flu season, so prayers for a healthy next 5 months! No
real news. Oh, so yes, there is big news! The prescription that was costing us
around $4,600 bucks a month- there is possibility that we can begin to receive
it through mail-order, and not have any costs out-of-pocket! Do you know how
much of a relief that would be? Patiently waiting…
I really hoped to have a new picture of the girls
to share with you. But, I don’t. Tis the time of the year when we attempt to
create that oh-so-perfect Christmas card. The girls visited Ms. Sheena last
week at Esprit Jolie Photography. Sneak peaks to come. It is killing me. You
will not believe how grown up all 3 of them are- I promise!
Hitting publish now...I have an exam to study for!
Until next time…XOXO, Kristin
