For the Father of My Precious Girls...

Thoughts about Daniel:

I sure wish that I could find the perfect words to describe what kind of a father he is. But the truth is… I cant! He has such a tender heart for the three little souls that he created. Words can not describe what it is like for me- to witness the magical connection that he has with his girls!

It is really hard to write what I think means for him to be a father. Because speaking about Daniel as a the title of father is almost a language of its own. There is nothing like it. If you have never seen him with his girls- you wouldn’t have the full picture. Daniel was extremely blessed with the daddy gene. I know that deep down, he yearned for a little boy. However, there were very different plans for him! Early on, I will never forget the fact that he instinctively knew how to cradle a baby with his bare hands, how to calm a crying baby back to sleep in the middle of the night, and until recently, nurture a feverish child, BUT, nothing compares to his ability to heal his little girls’ broken hearts. He has a way! I am truly a lucky gal, because he is every bit a part of the girls lives as I am. It is teamwork.

I am pretty sure that the three souls that call him Daddy- know how special he is!

I knew that Daniel was a pretty special person long before he became a daddy. But, I am telling you… I witnessed a whole new kind of magic when we found out that I was pregnant with Ashlynn. How, she wasn’t really in our plans yet, but we were thrown a big ole’ curve ball in 2005- but, he was the one who’e eyes filled with great big ole tears and was excited while saying “It will all be fine”, knowing that he was in it for the long run, and that his heart would soon stretch deeper and stronger in a short matter of time. From the first ultrasound, to him spending hours fumbling through instructions while putting the first crib together for his first baby girl which would eventually peacefully sleep all three of his little girls. We all know that he isn’t the most patient when it comes to that kind of stuff- but, its pure magic!

I am so thankful for the journey that we have stumbled upon together. Getting to share it with him- well, I wouldn’t want it any other way! You definitely were made to be a father and I am so glad that you are the father of my children These girls will forever remember your legacy for loving them, molding them into the young girls that they have become and women that one day, sooner than later, they will become, and for always telling them how much you love them.

Happy Father’s Day Daniel! Thank you for being the best father any wife could ever ask for. I know that you will continue to be an amazing father for many years ahead. Most of all-  Thank you for teaching me that life goes on!

Happy Fathers Day to all of the Daddy’s out there.

Some one is turning 7 around here next week- more on that later!

XOXO Kristin

Playing Catch-up

We left on a Friday- for 12 days of vacation bliss. Nothing but friends, family, babies and fun! Twelve days of hot, Florida sun, and 5 children!

We laughed. We hugged, and kissed dirty baby feet. Ate food we don’t have in Missouri. Rocked it out in Orlando, and spent 3 days in Pensacola. My bet is that these cities were glad to see us leave!

We walked around the theme parks and the beach and took pictures with our phones like tourists do. And so.

We went swimming in the day and night- no mosquitoes in Florida!

We left Tuesday and wandered home, and now back to reality.

Which, just happens to be slightly better than when we left.

Enjoy this video on my Facebook page of some of my favorite pictures. I only snapped about 400 while on vacation. I tried for 2 days to upload it here, but the file is extremely large. I hope you enjoy it if you get a chance to watch it.
　
Now that we have returned- I have a mountain of laundry- no joke. Each day, I fold, resent, cuss at the pile of laundry that never ends- because it never truly ends!

I was reminded several times by my children that we didn't go on vacation last year as I quickly told them that they are very lucky to get to got on vacations like we do. It aslo took me back to where we were last year and flipping through photo albums from last year painted more of a picture (my kids love to look at them all of the time- do yours?), I quickly realize that my life really can be perfectly normal and a bit less than exciting these days. Remembering to celebrate life each and every day. I will also tell you what, it’s fun to look back and see what we were doing, where we were at, what I was thinking about, how the kids look- my, have things changed!

Another beautiful thing happened this week. We participated in our first Relay for Life. My sister-in-law was team captain of a team this year. I cant really explain to you the thoughts that I had going into the event- and, I am not really sure what Daniel really thought either. You see, some things are better left unspoken. And, this was one of them.

I was not sure how I felt about going to my first official cancer event. Honestly, guess a little sad that a Country Strong team even exists. But with that I am grateful for people and the community we have around us...but there is still a deep wound that screams inside me..."I do not want to be on this team".As I mentioned a few blogs back, I think I have come to place where my moments of sadness can exist right alongside my joy, thankfulness, and need to celebrate. Country Strong represents a team of survivors- and I am very thankful to be on that team!It represents the need to celebrate- and we did just that.

Overall, Relay for Life was humbling. It was humbling to see people come together, and rally around our family , and the families of other survivors as well as those who have lost their battles. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

More than anything- it was a night to remember our story. How it continues to change our family forever. In that there was much pain and brokenness as it took me back to May 2011 and it also reminded me of that place in my heart- the place of joy and immense thankfulness. To all of those who were present, thank for rallying right alongside the American Cancer Society and us and fighting for a cure.

The entire Malden High School track was lined with luminaries and different names written in either red or black. Again, I am thankful that Daniel’s luminaries were written in black (with the exception of one in red ink- but, we will pretend it was black). I also know that this night was one of intense sorrow and pain for those who have lost someone close to them from cancer (Daniel’s aunt lost her battle 14 years to the exact date of the event). My heartaches deeply for those individuals in that and reminds me to continue to fight towards living in a place of thankfulness. Even though, it is hard most days. Thankfulness for everyday and thankful for our story… although, I am in constant fear that there could be a "to be continued" somewhere in the chapters of our book. Our story hasn’t quite ended. However, knowing that the luminary with Daniel’s name on it...was about remembering where we have been, where we are going, and how if we choose...if we are able... and knowing things do get better with time. I want others fighting the battle to realize that!

What Relay meant to me is this: in the end there is hope. Hope for a cure. Hope for a world without cancer, without pain, without loss, and hopefully- where relay for life won’t need to exist anymore. But until then, we will fight, raise money, and continue the research the necessary to find a cure.

I hope next year, I am able to participate more. American Cancer Society has always held a very special place in my heart- a long time before Daniel ever was diagnosed. There is another video- on my Facebook page for your viewing pleasure-  if you get the chance.
 　
Music from this video is by Train (listen to ‘Bruises’ and ‘We were made for this’- if you get the chance). I also am loving John Mayer’s new album- especially ‘Face to Call Home’. I’m listening to these albums non-stop.

There are so many lyrics in this albums that make me say, YES TO THAT!.I love nothing more than  to find something to listen to that makes you think or connect. Lately, music gets me through the day. When an album or song comes out that I can relate to, I hold on tight. It helps me through.

These are a few of those albums.

Good night! XOXO Kristin